


A New Life

by QueenNymph



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Addiction, Alternate Universe, Angst, Consensual Non-Consent, Depression, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Illness, Obsession, Possessive Behavior, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sexual Content, Suffering, Suicidal Thoughts, Underage Drinking, ZaDr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-10-11 17:08:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 38,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20549708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenNymph/pseuds/QueenNymph
Summary: Zim has spent so many years on Earth plotting doom and destruction that he seems to just be going through the motions now, expecting his old nemesis Dib Membrane to be there to stop him each time; almost like a sick and twisted game. One day the human doesn't show, and Zim, being the almighty and superior being that he is, decides to take offense to this and find out the reason behind the absence.The answer to why leads to a breakdown between the two near-adults... and ends up shattering everyone's reality.





	1. Sick or Not

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my new story, I've never written anything on this website before but I hope all of you enjoy and let me know if there's anything I need changed. 
> 
> (The song further in the chapter is called Sympathy by Too Close to Touch).

"That insolent _brat_!" A hoarse and harsh whisper sounded through the air while a small shadow paced back and forth with impatience in the dark. It seemed like an ordinary street, in the middle of an ordinary town, with an ordinary if not a slightly impatient child, as they obviously waited for someone. All of it, however, was anything but normal. 

A car's headlights passed slowly over the area for a moment, which revealed to be an average park- and also glanced over the person in question. Oh, but it was no person at all, actually. A green fleshed, short-statured alien type creature stood impatiently, the three green claws from his hand gripping some type of beeping metallic device as he stood high and mighty on the edge of a newly built water fountain. Despite being small, his chest was puffed out bravely like he was the tallest thing on Earth, even as he began his irate pacing. 

Reaching up in frustration, he seemed to pluck his own eye out of his head and stashed it into an unknown device on his back; fortunately, it turned out to be a contact, for behind it was a large, glowing red eye that was absolutely filled with astonishment, rage, and slight offense. After pulling out his other eye contact and storing it as well, he crossed his arms and shouted into the dark abyss that was the park. "Gir! Any sign?"

_"YES!" _An almost high-pitched voice squeaked within the trees somewhere nearby. The alien almost jolted with excitement, before the squeal continued, _"I see the tacos! TACO TRUCK!"_

"Oh Gir," the alien sighed, obviously out of patience but too weary to express it verbally. "I was talking about the disgusting, wretched 'hyuman'." 

_"Hmm... I see a bald lady!"_ The thing called Gir screeched._ "Can I pet it?"_

Whatever the seemingly bodiless voice had seen, it was probably, most likely, presumably, almost certainly not a 'bald lady'. "Not just _any_ disgusting hyuman- ah, forget it." The alien continued to pace irritably, checking a high-tec looking watch on his arm every few seconds. "I know he _saw_ me plotting. ASIDE from the fact that the AMAZING ZIM has been absolutely bamboozled with where that, that, _Stinky_ has placed his hidden cameras this time," he paused his words and footsteps to watch something practically fly through the trees, though wasn't particularly impressed with it, "-so I know he had a chance to look and monitor the whole time..." He took a step backward as a tiny, slightly dusty mechanical object came crashing down with a tongue hanging out, directly in front of the ranting creature. "He just... he always comes. He _will_ come."

_"Big-head will come, Zim!" _The object, a robot, squeaked as he reached an appendage to grip the alien arm almost affectionately._ "Now, roll with me!"_ Without waiting for confirmation yet unable to drag the creature Zim with him, he simply let go of the other and started rolling off the water fountain and into some nice dirt. Zim rolled his eyes in response, for he was used to this type of erratic behavior; still, he was sure it had heightened exponentially once it fell dark because Gir was able to take off of his disguise without worrying about getting caught. Zim admitted silently that it felt nice too since his contacts burned his eyes a lot. After a moment's hesitation, he swiftly took off what appeared to be a black wig, revealing long, black antennae that twitched almost gratefully once it touched the air.

Zim stared impatiently twice more at his watch, grumbling under his breath. It was almost midnight and if he happened to be caught by any hobo or street cop now he would surely be captured for experimentation (though that would happen probably any time of day if he got caught, Zim was extra paranoid once it was dark). Yet it didn't feel the same to just...

"I imagine that perhaps the Dib-stink is just sick today," Zim finally announced to his still rolling companion, causing the other to stop and sit up with interest. "That must be it, a little cold! And because Zim is such a fair and generous invader, I will give him tonight to rest; then tomorrow, he better show up to prove his worth in saving his precious planet!"

_"Maybe we can say hi to him?"_ Gir suggested with that oddly child-like innocence that he never seemed to have lost, despite the years (and upgrades) he had gone through. Zim's eyes rolled into his head as usual, though he was more or less used to the strange kindness from the little robot by now. 

"Gir, why should I go see a germ-infested little-" Zim suddenly stopped in his tracks. "Actually... not a bad idea! We can infiltrate his base while he's weak, then destroy him!" He let out one of his old evil cackles, though he didn't seem to put that much heart into it- probably because he was tired? (Zim knew Irkens didn't particularly need a lot of sleep but perhaps it was just necessary this time.) He scooped up the little humming robot and placed him on his back so that he would be less likely to run off, then began heading in the direction of where his nemesis, Dib Membrane, lived, still holding the beeping mechanical contraption from earlier.

While he walked, Zim made sure to put his contacts in again and throw on his wig, while Gir had zipped up into his dog costume. He looked around as he passed by the same familiar streets and buildings. Some things had been torn down to make room for new things, while other things had simply been abandoned for a long time. There were more homeless people than Zim remembered from his 'Earthling youth', more violence, and even more greed. _Foolish hyumans fighting amongst themselves when the real threat is standing right in front of them!_ Zim thought to himself as he quietly walked through the street.

It was almost unnerving, the damage a human could make to their own kind, sometimes even their own flesh and blood. Almost. Zim couldn't imagine what they would do to _him_ for being an alien, though his childhood nemesis had plenty of times implied or guessed on what could be. He mentally shook the boring and unimportant thoughts from his mind and continued to steadily walk to his destination.

How long had he been on the planet? Perhaps about six Earth years now? Zim knew that that meant the Dib-human was now almost a full-fledged adult. How funny it was to see him grow over the years and develop while Zim stayed about the same, minus growing a few more inches (of course because the amazing Zim was already so perfect, he didn't _have_ to change much.)

Unfortunately, to Zim's annoyance, Dib had gotten a lot taller once reaching the middle-skool years. On his planet, Irk, that would mean he would be much more highly respected. Luckily, they were on Earth, which for whatever reason, based respect on 'beauty' or 'intelligence'; sometimes even how loud someone could say their opinion... as long as it was popular.

Zim remembered that Dib used to be very bold and loud when stating things such as aliens and Bigfoot, especially when it came to try and reveal Zim's true nature. Over the years, though, because of Dib's unpopular opinion which caused ridicule, the human had quieted more and more and eventually no longer even spoke up in class, only talking to his sister regularly at lunch, (besides confronting Zim by himself most days). Even then it was forced or not mutual, because of her obsession with video games and lack of interest in socialization. 

Needless to say, he was not very popular or respected, whereas Zim was decently average on the high-skool food chain. Not that it mattered because soon both of them would graduate (unless of course, Zim conquered the Earth before then).

Dib's street came up surprisingly fast for the alien. He turned the corner, still holding onto the contraption while his antenna flicked from underneath the wig to feel and make sure his little robot companion, who was surprisingly quiet, was still there. He spotted the familiar-looking, dull purple house and suddenly his squeedlyspooch and chest flared with the rage he had felt earlier. How dare such human filth not bother to give Zim his attention! He could have blown up the entire park if he had really felt unfair! 

Before even stepping onto the porch, Zim made sure his wig was settled correctly and had placed the robot by his feet with a leash attached. He then made his presence known by pounding on the door rapidly, adrenaline pulsing through his body. 

For a good minute, there was no answer, causing Zim to beat on the door again, his foot tapping and his arms crossed with impatience. Finally, the door cracked open slightly, and Zim was shocked to see it was Professor Membrane, not Dib or even Gaz. "The Dib-father?" He spoke his surprise, studying the human carefully. Professor Membrane was almost always in his lab or doing something too important to be answering doors. Even more interesting was that Zim could sense a deep somber vibe coming off of the professor in waves, making the alien narrow his eyes with suspicion.

"Hello, where is Dib-stink?" Zim demanded as he studied the tall human carefully. Professor Membrane's eyes were covered by goggles as usual, but he could still practically taste the scent of slight bleakness. "The Zim had plans with him."

"Oh if it isn't Dib's friend with the skin condition," Professor Membrane spoke thoughtfully. "Zim, right? I haven't seen you around lately."

"Yes yes," Zim spoke impatiently while waving a hand dismissively. He didn't have time for such hospitality through pointless small talk. "Dib? Where is he?"

For whatever reason, Gir had decided at that point that it was the best time to start crawling on the ground and into the Membrane household, blabbing something about the TV. However, neither alien nor adult human seemed to notice or at least mind. Zim's attention was fixated on the lack of reaction to the question- except for the fact that Dib's father had suddenly stopped radiating ANY feeling whatsoever.

"Dib isn't feeling very well," the professor spoke evenly and almost gently. "Also it's midnight _and_ a skool night, so I'm sorry if my boy stood you up for something, but perhaps you will see him tomorrow if he feels better. Goodnight, Zim." The door closed without another word, then opened again so Gir could be ushered out, before re-closing.

Zim was startled by the abrupt farewell, as well as being right about Dib being sick. Well, no matter, on to Plan B, which was to study the hidden cameras in _Dib's_ house and see if the boy was plotting anything. Because of course, the brilliant Zim had to spy on his enemy as much as his enemy spied on him. The alien took Gir by his leash and began to pull softly, egging the robot to follow him, as he made his way back to his own house. 

What exactly was Dib sick from? Zim faintly remembered Dib discussing a regular doctor's appointment last Thursday to his sister, which meant he would be able to skip Skool on Friday, and then Zim was too busy plotting his new master plan to notice where Dib was on Saturday. Now it was Sunday, and still no sign from the human. Zim also had not sensed any known sicknesses on the Dib-human, though he also hadn't been paying much attention. Blood red eyes narrowed as Zim entered his home a few minutes later. He would get to the bottom of such treachery.

Down in the lab is where Zim monitored all hidden cameras he had in place, some on his own lawn to watch for intruders, others for almost every inch of Dib's house, minus the sister's room and the bathroom. 

While Gir happily gorged himself on an entire nacho cheese jar from the living room, Zim chose to be right where he belonged- stalking his mortal enemy. As he panned the cameras carefully back and forth around various rooms after seeing nothing within Dib's room, he paused momentarily to watch Professor Membrane again, this time speaking with Gaz, his daughter and also Dib's sister. The gamer girl's arms were crossed as she listened intently to what her father had to say, nodding from time to time. She looked just as grim as Professor Membrane seemed to be earlier. 

The camera suddenly decided to let out a spark, causing Zim to flinch, hoping it hadn't made noise. He really needed to replace some of them soon, especially that one. Unfortunately, the camera was obviously not discreet in its little fit and Gaz turned her head, staring directly at it and Zim with a scowl. Luckily, the father didn't seem to notice.

Gaz looked to have excused herself and practically stomped up the stairs, Zim following her by monitors up until she slammed the door to her room shut. He really, really needed a camera in there but knew better. Aside from not wanting to accidentally see such a hideous creature such as a _human_ undress, he also knew Gaz would literally maim him like a wild, primitive beast.

Suddenly, his cell phone rang. Zim had gotten it in an effort to be normal around other children, and had a few numbers, including Gaz, as his contacts; for pure advantage in case he needed to use said humans, of course. 

Speaking of the devil, the number calling happened to be Gaz's. He hesitated for a moment before cautiously clicking the 'Answer' button and placed it near his face. "Ehm... Hello?"

"You're so obsessed," were Gaz's first words. "First you come to our house, then you still use those _damn_ cameras to stalk us."

"Well-"

"Why were you over here?" The question was straightforward but not necessarily full of venom, more genuine curiosity and a slight hint of weariness. 

"Where is the Dib?" Zim cleared his throat before asking firmly, wanting to be the dominant one of the situation. "I needed him for something and he never came."

"If you mean he didn't show up at wherever to stop you from being an absolute moron, then that's because he was busy." Gaz's tone had grown cold. 

"Zim is not a 'moron' like all of you dirty, pig _hyumans!_" Zim snapped angrily. How dare she?! "I'll have you know, I had the _best _idea today!"

Gaz sighed into the speaker. "Then why didn't you go through with it?" To that, Zim had no answer. He didn't want to explain constantly that he was a fair and just enemy and wanted to give his nemesis a fighting chance. So he remained silent.

"Exactly. Anyway, why are you still trying? You and I both know your leaders never even wanted this planet."

Zim's skin seemed to bristle with annoyance. "I'm not doing it for them, as the Zim has said before! Instead, for me! ME!" He had mentioned this previously to them when he continued to harass them after he had disdainfully accepted that he was disowned by his entire planet. How could Gaz mention it so carefree without remembering what he had said?

"Right." Gaz was in no mood to humor Zim tonight. "Well, whatever. Just stop bugging us, Zim, and don't talk to us in skool." The phone then clicked to signal she had hung up on him.

Zim's earholes rang with those final words, his chest lurching almost painfully. The words seemed to have insulted the alien in a way that he did not understand. Didn't this mean he had won if his nemesis no longer wanted to be around him? He could do whatever he wanted! This was practically a dream come true, as only Dib stood in his way from taking over the world, and now the trash goblin was finally removing _himself_ from the equation. It was set up so perfectly!

So then why did Zim feel so empty inside? He frowned, poking at his own chest in concern when a cold nothingness seemed to wash over the alien. Was it perhaps just so unsatisfying for it to end in such a way? No, it couldn't have ended, especially not like that. Dib was never one to give up and so lamely, too. 

It couldn't be over. It wouldn't. Obviously, it was a trap and an almost convincing one. "It almost fooled the mighty Zim, I'll give them that," Zim mused as he scratched his head thoughtfully. "I better keep an eye on them, then. Who knows what plans may be up their sleeves."

Zim still felt oddly drained from earlier today, so he decided to go to sleep for a while, something he rarely did. He allowed Gir to stay up and flick through the channels from the floor, while he buried his green head under a pillow on the couch to drown out the robot's squeals of joy and constant repeating of, _"I love this show"_, even when it wasn't a show. He at some point had trashed the only real bedroom in the house and never got around to fixing it, though normally he didn't mind.

~~

Zim waited impatiently for the first-period bell to ring in skool, sitting upright in his chair. He hadn't spotted Dib nor Gaz in the hallways, but he knew Dib was always on time to class, at the very least entering as soon as the bell rang. He had to confront the little Earthling worm and find out what his plan was.

The sharp screeching that signaled the start of class, made Zim nearly leap out of his seat in surprise. Some of his human 'friends' whom he socialized with once in a while had looked over at him curiously, but he kept his eyes forward, straightening his back. Dib would come any minute. 

Eventually, the teacher made his way in and immediately began his droning of human calculations and numbers (which were very primitive to Zim), while the alien gawked at the door. Why wasn't he coming in? Where was Dib?!

Not for the first time, Zim drowned out all noise from the teacher to focus solely on the noise outside of the room, waiting for footsteps or... something. Anything. Was Dib really sick? Was he really over trying to save the world? Was it all some type of metaphor for Dib being sick _of _Zim? He wasn't sure anymore.

Chewing on his pencil quietly, he was disturbed by the swarming thoughts in his head, and let the teacher continue his ramble without actually hearing one single word of it. Not like it mattered, however- Zim was far superior in math than the humans, that he normally just worked backward from what he knew as both an Irken and from his years in this prison, to come to the right answer. In other words, educated guessing. 

Unfortunately, the only thing Zim was forced to follow along to fully understand was History, and it was so boring to hear humans repeating the same idiotic thing with different types of people, that he usually asked his 'friends' for help, or spied on Dib's finished homework if it happened to be left somewhere that Zim could reach with his cameras. Science was in the same boat as math and English was a simple language after a while. So really, he didn't need to pay attention much, which his grades reflected as such since he had all A's and hardly ever tuned in to what was said. If anything, he usually went to skool to keep an eye on...

Suddenly a quiet creak of the door snapped Zim from his thoughts, and he looked over to see, with a start, his nemesis walking into class quietly. A hoodie was over his head, but Zim knew exactly who it was.

Dib Membrane.

"I hope you have a decent excuse for missing almost the entire class period, Dib," the teacher spoke in a low, dull voice, eyebrow raised expectantly. 

With hardly a sound, Dib's hand fished into his pocket before pulling out a thin sheet of paper to hand to the teacher. After studying it for a long time, he placed the paper down on his desk gently and nodded to Dib to take a seat. 

Normally, though Dib would usually ignore every other person in the class, he would at least acknowledge Zim with one of those 'I'm ready for anything' looks to warn the alien. Now, he simply avoided all eye contact, head low, as he walked to sit in the very back. This was different, considering the human preferred sitting at the front to actually see better, despite having glasses. Zim cautiously took a deep breath, pretending to be bored and sighing, so he could taste the air that Dib-stink had tainted. He sensed... _something _was different, yet couldn't tell what it was. 

His antennae flicked from underneath his wig when the faint throbs of some type of horrible human music filled the air in vibrations. Only then did Zim realize Dib had on a thick pair of headphones with the intent to drown everyone and everything out. Studying closer, he noticed bags under the other's red and slightly swollen eyes. Had he been crying? Zim tilted his head in wonder, his heart pounding for some odd reason.

"Is there something interesting back there, Zim?" The teacher's words caused him to snap his head around to the front.

"I'd like to think so, why can Dib-shit wear headphones but not anyone else?" Another human demanded. Zim recognized him as what the children call 'bullies', and he was a regular one for Dib. "_And _he can have his hood up!"

"Mister Dib is going through some things currently, plus there isn't much I can teach him with only five minutes left in class," the teacher spoke coolly. "Zim!"

Zim had already turned his head back around to study his enemy's features some more. He jumped and corrected himself once more on the chair, ready to hop out of it the second the bell rang. Something _did _seem wrong... but perhaps it was all part of the plan. 

As soon as the ringing filled his ears, he stood up quickly and gathered his things, a pounding in his chest for some reason. Dib had only started to get up when he noticed others had gotten up since the music was too loud for him to hear the bell, but somehow managed to walk quickly out of the class while avoiding the alien, which caused the green-skinned creature more distress. How dare he ignore the magnificent Zim?!

Luckily, he knew exactly where Dib's locker was and headed there quickly, knowing the next period for Dib was P.E and that he absolutely HAD to stop by his locker to put his books in there. Sure enough, Zim eyed the tall, lanky boy, trying to hide from the world around him.

Zim's feet stalled for only a second since he really had no plans for what to say, but he figured his brilliant mind would figure it out as he went along. He eventually tapped on the taller boy's arm, hoping Dib wouldn't outright ignore him; he didn't want to start a fight that he knew he would win, which would get him in trouble.

Of course, it was never in Dib's heart to completely ignore when someone tried to contact him (usually causing a vicious cycle between acknowledging his bullies and therefore them harassing him even further), so after a few seconds there was an audible sigh and the headphones were pulled down. Zim's antennae twitched again; he could just barely make out the lyrics to an unknown song.

_"Take a second of your time,_

_Realize you're wasting mine..."_

How fitting it seemed, considering Dib seemed slightly irate over being bothered. Zim wasn't sure why, otherwise, that Dib of all humans would be listening to such depressing and harsh filth. 

"What is it, Zim?" Dib's voice was low and tired, but Zim wasn't having it. 

"What are you plotting?" Zim hissed, suddenly overcome with rage again. How dare Dib act like such an amazing Invader such as he, was so much of a burden?!

_"Paper thin your words, they haunt my dreams,_

_The seams have come undone!"_

Dib blinked, looking honestly confused as he tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows together. "Plotting?"

"Don't try to pretend otherwise, Dib-stink," Zim said accusingly, pointing a gloved finger at the taller boy. "It's kind of impressive you got your sister and father, one who isn't even a believer, in on it, but it won't fool me!"

_"There's a sickness living inside me,_

_You can spare me all your sympathy!"_

Zim flinched at how harsh the words sounded but nonetheless continued to glare at the bewildered Dib.

Dib slowly shook his head as he took a step back from the alien. "I... Still don't know what you're talking about, but I do know you came over last night... Gaz told me. Why?"

Zim was caught off guard by the question. "Well... because! Zim didn't see you at the park last night!"

_"I'm sitting, waiting on the sun to rise._

_I know it never will, it comes as no surprise._

_So won't you stare into my hollow eyes..._

_They look so hungry now,_

_It comes as no surprise..."_

Dib stared quietly for a long moment, just letting the music fill the air. "Was I supposed to be there?"

Zim couldn't believe his earholes. "Obviously! I was going to blow up the water fountain they had just installed!"

Dib let out a slow gust of air and turned from the alien fully. "...Do what you want. I've given up."

The words again made Zim feel numb inside. "...No." He whispered as a strange chill ran down his spine. "You're lying to trick the mighty Zim, but he won't fall for-"

"Zim!" Dib's hollow voice rang through the hallway, causing quite a few peers to stop and watch curiously, while Zim himself froze in his own tracks. "I'm serious. I surrender. I... I can't do this anymore." Slowly, Dib turned to stare into Zim's eyes, an indescribable look on his face. "I don't want to talk to you anymore. I don't even want to see you anymore." With that, he turned away once more.

Zim's chest hurt even more now but he couldn't place why. He swallowed hard several times before hissing, "That's it then? After all these years, you're just going to... to... abandon everything?"

Everything abandoned _me_, Zim!" Dib snapped, though still not looking at who he was talking to. "This skool, humanity... everything. Not that I'm in fear for people's safety, you've never been and never will be good at being an Invader." He spoke the last word quietly when he noticed people were listening in, but still loud enough for Zim to hear it.

With a low growl, Zim lunged forward. He'd show Dib just how dangerous he could really be! He knew it wasn't a good judgment on his part after he had already figured he shouldn't start a fight. He didn't care though, he just wanted Dib to see. Zim hadn't lost his touch, he was just rusty; he was as good of an Invader as he always hyped himself up to be!

Despite his small size, he easily knocked down the other boy and began to claw at him while on top. He was barely consciously aware of how fragile Dib's body seemed to be, yet it didn't matter either way to Zim. He continued raking his claws on every piece of flesh he could find, listening to the sounds of cheering from fellow students and the bass of another song pounding through his head.

The only reason Zim stopped was when he felt his wig sliding off. He sat up quickly to re-settle it, then prepared for more beatings when he heard a whimper that froze him in his tracks. Dib had his face covered as he sobbed quietly, in the most heartbreaking manner possible. Something in Zim's body clenched with a new feeling he's never felt before, a type of low pain in his squeedlyspooch, all the way to his throat. He lowered his arms slowly, realizing Dib hadn't even fought back. It was strange... Zim had always in some way caused a fight between the two, mostly between middle skool to early high-skool (without actually being in skool; this was a first), but the taller boy had always fought back with just as much determination to knock Zim's lights out. Now, it just seemed pitiful and also strangely wrong to be beating on the crying human.

Cuts were scattered down Dib's cheeks and neck, and his hoodie he had used to cover up with were almost mere rags. Zim's own gloves were torn from his claws sinking through them and were splattered with the other's blood. He could see even more blood gushing from throat wounds, pieces of flesh hanging off of it.

"D- Dib," Zim croaked, unsure of what to say or even do. He slowly got off of the other after realizing he was still straddling the human and was about to stutter his way through an excuse when all of a sudden Dib jumped up, flinging the rest of his books to the floor and fleeing down the stairs, presumably to head out of the building.

"Wait! DIB!" Zim shouted out but was only met with soft whispers from his peers. After a moment's hesitation, Zim decided to try and follow the human. 


	2. Abandoned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib goes to the hospital and Zim tries to deal with unfamiliar feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for giving this a chance and reading it, I appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this chapter and more to come.

The mighty Zim had never felt so strangely... negative toward having hurt someone before. _Especially_ after having hurt Dib Membrane.

Even with Gir, his most loyal companion, Zim didn't so much as flinch most days when he chastised or knocked around the little robot and saw the tears welling up in those blue 'eyes'. Sometimes he would relent and allow Gir to do as he pleased, but it was more to do with picking and choosing his battles. He tended to treat Gir more like a child or pet who needed to be guided and taught.

Meanwhile, most humans he came into contact anymore didn't feel any wrath from him (because the all-powerful Zim was too busy plotting, of course). Looking back on his earlier days though, he would most of the time grin or let out a cruel laugh when causing misfortune to his fellow peers or any adult that stood in his way, and never felt _bad _for it.

More concerning was that Dib was completely on another section of torture. He'd fought the human before and had caused even worse marks for the boy. He knew factually there was a long scar down Dib's side from the time the alien nearly ripped him open from a long-ago fight and didn't even care at the time, only cackling victoriously when Dib retreated- before he himself had to retreat because of his wounds.

So why did Zim's chest feel like it was going to implode? Why were cold sweats running through his spine? He kept replaying the moment over and over, remembering small pieces of it during his frenzy like Dib putting his hands up to try and block some of the clawing, the quiet whimpering, or how brittle his bones felt underneath the alien. 

Something was terribly wrong with Dib, and something was terribly wrong with Zim for feeling the way he did. He knew he was considered defective to the Irken race, but he still had no idea what destructive emotions were plaguing him or why, since he had never felt this way before. Was it perhaps because Dib hadn't fought back that made him feel these feelings, (something Zim had mused over earlier)? Was it because for the first time, Dib had shown his weakness through tears of defeat? Maybe even both? Who knew, definitely not Zim, who continued to follow the human out the door by breathing in the scent of his blood to track him. The boy was fast for having been pummeled into mush.

There were scarlet droplets against the ground that Zim kept an eye on, chest twisting and lurching when the size and quantity of them started to grow. Surely this wasn't the worst he's ever hurt Dib? Then again, as his head kept reminding him almost harshly, Dib hadn't fought back this time... 

Zim began to slow down when he heard noises from the street to the left, concentrating to determine if it was the human or not. A soft sniffle made an antenna twitch from under his wig, so he continued his previous pace, determined to catch up and demand forgiveness for beating the raven-haired boy. 

However, his feet and possible words froze in place when he had turned the corner and spotted Dib-stink curled into a ball on the ground, his sniffling turning into groans of pain. There was... so much blood pooling around his head. Zim swallowed hard to rid of the lump in his throat and crept closer to the shaking, twitching body that was his enemy. "Dib, enough foolery. I didn't even scratch that hard." Truthfully he really hadn't, which was also part of the reason Zim was so confused. He had unleashed even more fury upon the boy before when he was younger and softer even.

Dib let out a gurgle in response, causing Zim's feet to move practically on their own from pure curiosity and something that _felt_ like fear but couldn't possibly be. He knelt down, hesitantly pushing the hood back and tucking pitch-black hair behind the human's ears. He eyed the scratches around the neck area, watching the skin around each cut slowly swell and bruise into a deep purple. Zim was taken aback by the strange reaction upon the flesh. He continued to watch as every slow pump of a vein only caused more blood to be pushed out of the wounds, before finally and shakily taking a piece of hanging cloth from Dib's hoodie to place over some of them. "D- Dib... what's going on with you?" This wasn't normal, not by a long-shot.

Another gurgle came from Dib's throat before he attempted to speak to the alien. "Ne- ed... D- Dad..." 

Zim noticed then that Dib had his phone weakly clutched in one hand like he was attempting to call someone before possibly collapsing on the ground. He knew the phone had a password but luckily it had already been punched in. Zim gingerly took the device from the human's hand, who hadn't fought back or resisted in any way, and clicked on the contacts, finding Professor Membrane's number almost immediately. He looked back up at the bleeding boy, silently pondering. If he just let Dib die right here, he wouldn't have to worry about him getting in the way ever again, guaranteed...

The alien solemnly dialed the Dib's father then pressed it close to his face, using his other hand to keep pressure on some of the wounds.

Shockingly, the father picked up almost immediately, which was definitely not normal behavior; over the years, father and son had made contact with each other less and less since Professor Membrane was _always _busy with his work.

"Yes Dib, do you need to come home?" 

The voice was quiet and mildly concerned. Zim almost hung up out of pure nervousness, but forced himself to instead clear his throat and say as calmly as possible, "This... this is Zim. The Dib-hyuman, um... your son. He's in need of medical attention."

"Zim? What's happened?" The professor's voice was suddenly tight and heavy with fear. "What's wrong with my boy?!"

Zim swallowed heavily. "He... we've gotten into a little fight. He's bleeding terribly on the street a block from the skool."

"Why were you two fighting? Why aren't either of you in skool?"

"Zim has no time to explain, just come help!" The alien insisted before hanging up quickly so he wouldn't be bombarded with more questions. He then turned his attention back to Dib and resumed his pressure on as many wounds as he could cover with his hands. Dib's breathing was light and fast, eyes squeezed shut with pain. Tiny veins in his face seemed to also be growing purple, popping from his pale face, alarming Zim. Never before had he seen this, especially not from his old nemesis.

Zim wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there, barely noticed the small crowd he and Dib had attracted, and wasn't even aware of the professor's presence until he had gently grabbed Zim by the arms and slowly pried him off of the other. Zim was prepared to fight back, eyes wild as he watched Dib's body being moved by professionals until he made eye contact with Gaz's furious expression, then felt Professor Membrane's emotions roll off of him in waves. 

Slowly he calmed down, practically going limp in Membrane's arms as he watched Dib being hauled into an ambulance. The crowd was shooed away by police officers, only leaving the two family members and Zim on that sidewalk. 

All three were silent for a long time. The only sound Zim could make out was their heartbeats, the professor's being hard and heavy and Gaz's being light and fast.

Zim didn't know why it felt like he couldn't breathe, like he was choking on the air. He didn't know why he felt dizzy and confused or what emotions rolled through his body. After simply stewing in his own confused thoughts, he looked up at the tall human while still avoiding eye contact. "... Please tell me what's wrong with him."

Professor Membrane seemed to hesitate, but it was like Gaz had been waiting for a chance to pounce verbally at the alien. "You don't deserve to know _shit_!" She hissed as she took a dangerous step toward him. "You almost killed him! I _told _you to leave us alone!"

Zim's eyes were wide as the same almost-physical type hurt rolled through his body. "I- I thought..." So, it really wasn't some plot to turn Zim in?

"You thought wrong like you always do!" Gaz's voice raised even higher, balling her hands into fists. "You're such an egomaniac, you think everything's revolving around you!" Professor Membrane raised a hand in an attempt to settle Gaz, but she continued her rant as she moved practically nose-to-face with the alien. "And maybe it _does _involve you. Maybe we just don't want to _deal _with you anymore! Maybe we have bigger problems to worry about than someone being absolutely obsessed with trying to fuck with our lives because they know they have nothing else going on for them. You're pathetic and so is your so-called purpose!"

"That's enough, Gaz!" The professor snapped, his voice loud and harsh which was a rare, almost legendary occurrence. "I'm not sure exactly what you're discussing but whatever you say isn't going to heal Dib or make him better."

"I'm not trying to 'heal Dib', I'm trying to get Zim to feel the pain he's putting Dib through!" Gaz shouted back. "God!"

Zim squirmed out of Professor Membrane's grip to shove his own face into hers. However, he had nothing cruel to say going through his head. So instead he whispered, "You're wrong. Zim has a lot to live for. More than the Dib-human who spent part of his life stalking my every move because he had nothing else!" Okay, maybe that was cruel enough?

"You're right," Gaz said in a strangely calm tone, taking a step back. "You _were _part of his life. He's trying to move on now. But you're in his way because even though he's been an even smaller part of your life than you are to him, you can't seem to just let it go and grow up. We don't want you here Zim, get it through your thick skull."

Zim's breathing began to grow ragged. "What have I done to deserve such treatment?" He demanded, nearly choking on his words.

"I don't know, stressing him out, causing him pain, mocking and making fun of him, borderline bullying him outside of school, getting him in trouble _in _school? We don't need to deal with that now that he's-" Gaz suddenly went quiet, though still looked absolutely furious. "You don't need to know a damn thing about him; we're too old for this back and forth crap anyway."

Zim chewed on his lip softly as another pain to his squeedlyspooch shot through his body. It was the same type of pain he felt when he finally realized his Tallests, his entire _planet_, had just been trying to get rid of him the entire time. It was a pain Zim wasn't used to, a pain he would never admit to having.

"Gaz-"

"Shut up!" Gaz hissed at the alien. "Next time you even _think _about touching my numbskull of a brother, I will _end _you. That's a promise. You got that?" 

Zim lowered his head, gave a small nod, then turned and rushed for his house nearby, going faster and faster to put as much distance between him and the Membrane family as possible. He didn't even care about going back to skool.

"It's not fair," he mumbled as he practically kicked open the door, shoving Gir out of the way and slamming his head into the couch. Why did he have to feel the way he did? Dib was always a nuisance... always in _his _way. Now he was in Dib's way? It didn't work like that. He refused it. 

"I _will _get revenge on you, Dib!" Zim announced loudly into the near-silent house from the cushions his face was still buried in. "You thought you could trick the mighty Zim! You thought you could bother me... for six years... and then just- just leave it like that?!" Zim began to pound his fists into everything he could reach like a tantruming child. "You thought you could be a constant thorn in my side and then detach yourself like I'm nothing?! I'M THE GREATEST!" 

In a fit of rage, he ripped one cushion apart with his bare hands, then flung the other into his TV, knocking it to the ground and watching the screen crack into tiny pieces. "I am magnificent! The best Invader the universe has ever seen! _You can't just ditch me like I don't matter!_" His foot went through the rest of the couch, then a fist, then finally he shredded the entire thing as he clawed and bit it like a primitive creature. 

Like a whirlwind, he went through his entire living room, busting walls and the floor, destroying paintings hung on the wall, and snapping tables in half. He spotted Gir hiding in the corner, genuinely afraid of his master for the first time ever as he seemed to realize the seriousness of the situation.

Then, Zim seemed to black out.

He slowly came back to his consciousness to find himself standing in his kitchen. The fridge was through the wall, pipes ripped out of the floor and sides, and for some reason, a half of a chair found itself halfway through one of the broken windows while the other half was wedged into the ceiling.

Zim was breathing heavily, sweat pouring down his face, hands swollen and slightly bloody. He staggered through the rest of the room, seeing holes in the walls, things flung and torn and busted, and little Gir crying quietly in the corner of the house, though Zim paid him no mind.

He saw that the entrance to one of the lower levels had nearly been ripped off the floor, and in a daze he found himself going to his lab area, noticing all of his technology- all of his experiments, cameras, monitors, and everything in between- was also broken or mangled in some type of way.

Once back on the upper levels, Zim noticed something wet was leaking by his face. He rubbed his eyes, then peeled off of his contacts; they must have been bothering him. Yet still, his eyes were flooded with a strange liquid. After rubbing them twice more in frustration, he gave a low cry and fell to the floor, curling into a ball. Why wouldn't this pain in his chest go away? "Gir, I think I'm dying," Zim groaned. "It... it hurts." Gir only whimpered in response.

Zim rolled onto his other side, staring into one of the holes in his wall, his breathing coming out in small, desperate gasps. What was he to do with his life now? Could he really capture this planet now? For what real purpose though? He was defective, and unwanted... by even the most dedicated person to such paranormal activities... Was he really as pathetic as Gaz had said? Is that what Dib thought?

"You can't abandon the world like this, Dib," Zim whispered as his eyes continued to leak for some odd reason. "You can't abandon _me_. 

"I won't let you leave me this way..."

~~

Dib's eyes fluttered open almost painfully, taking in the bright light above him that was causing a splitting headache. He lay there a moment, just taking in his surroundings by twitching his hands to feel the sheets under his body, or focusing past the light to see the white walls and ceiling. Then he carefully moved his head, feeling a distant throb in his neck and chest area. 

His eyes were unfocused from his lack of glasses, but he still recognized his dad's labcoat and Gaz's bright purple hair. He blinked at them in confusion and attempted to lift his head, but was pushed back down carefully.

"Rest, Dib," his father's voice was soft and kind. 

"Wh- where a- am I?" Dib managed a low whisper. "Wha- what happened?"

"You got into a fight with that Zim, apparently," Professor Membrane answered. "He called me on your cell phone and when I found you, you were bleeding all over the sidewalk."

Slowly, Dib's memories came back to him and he flinched slightly the more he thought. He remembered the look of absolute rage on the alien's fault as he leaped without warning, the pain as his skin shredded like paper and his body threatening to snap like it was made of twigs. He remembered getting up and running as fast as his body could go, only to collapse on the ground... Then remembered when Zim showed up once again in his line of sight, and for a second, Dib thought the alien was going to just sit there and watch him die.

Dib also remembered the look on Zim's face before attacking, aside from the anger. He could see hurt, almost like Dib had betrayed him. Isn't this what Zim wanted, though? To get rid of Dib? The raven-haired boy was almost positive that either way, Zim wouldn't be able to conquer Earth at this point, but still. The alien couldn't stand Dib and made his life a living Hell on purpose. So why did he seem offended that Dib was going to just let him do whatever he wanted? Why had he technically saved his enemy's life?

"I'm sorry, Dad," Dib ended up mumbling softly. "I'll be more careful next time."

"It wasn't even your fault you knucklehead," Gaz finally spoke up as she rolled her eyes, "it was Zim's. You did nothing wrong. I think I finally got it through that skull of his that he's unwanted, though, so everything should be fine."

"Well hold on you two," their father interrupted them, looking between them both with a stern voice. "There won't be a 'next time', Dib, regardless of any falling out you might have just had with one of your friends. I realize now that it is too dangerous for you to be anywhere that isn't the house, being watched over."

Dib felt like he was dunked into a cold shower. "What are you talking about? Everything's fine-"

"No son," Professor Membrane's tone grew soft once more. "Nothing is fine. What if someone else tries to hurt you? Your body is so frail... plus it's better you stay home so I can monitor you and take samples."

Despite the pressure of a hand on his chest trying to force him back down, Dib managed to sit up to stare at his father, stomach twisting into a knot. "You can't do this. I finally get to graduate skool this year! And then I'll be able to go to college... I can't just be locked in a room as your test monkey."

"Dib, if I don't figure out how to cure you, you won't need a reason to graduate- because you won't have a future to need such a thing." 

Both Dib and his father stared at each other for a long time, before Dib dropped his head and sighed. His dad was right. 

He was dying.

"So, I just drop out of skool and stay in the house forever, in the hopes you somehow figure out what's wrong with me and I can continue my life afterward?" Dib asked dryly.

"It's all a matter of science and trying to figure out the best possible cure, Dib, and science takes time," his father replied. "I'm sorry, son. If it makes you feel any better, I can set something up with the teachers so you may continue your work from home."

Dib just shrugged miserably. He didn't want to be a homebody. He craved to be outside, with other people, as rude as some could be to him. He also remembered at one point he wanted genuine friends and a happy skool life, but he never was allowed that either. So at the very least, he could've just been granted a decently normal life for a bullied child such as he. The only thing that stood in his way, before getting ill, was Zim. 

Now, there was probably no chance. He was going to waste away in his home, either die there or become cured but have missed his own graduation, probably become deprived of natural sunlight, and maybe even forget how to socialize...

Okay, maybe Dib was being slightly overdramatic. Still, he didn't like being treated like a dog in a cage, which is exactly how it was going to be and he knew it.

He also had already had this type of discussion with his father and had promised that if something bad would happen at skool that day, he wouldn't fight against the idea next time to just stay home... forever. So there wasn't much he could say to fix this predicament. 

Besides, as he was just thinking; despite his craving for connections, most people were straight-up cruel to him. They knew him as the freak who always talked about aliens, and even after he grew quieter about it, they still relentlessly picked on him for it. There would never be a way for him to make friends, no matter how much he wanted it. Just like he had stated to Zim previously: humanity had abandoned him. So was he really losing anything?

True, he would no longer have freedom. Freedom to do what, though? To sit in class, accepting paper being thrown at him, to be called names during lunch, to go to the mall and hear the judgmental words of gossiping mothers about the time Dib must have ruined their life one way or another with his alien obsession. He never had freedom.

Aliens... Zim. Dib's jaw clenched. He used to blame Zim for his lack of popularity, for people making fun of him. Now he knew it was society to blame, for being so stupid. As well as his own fault, for continuing to speak on his beliefs after everyone had already told him to shut up. Both he and the world itself had dug the hole he was in now. Zim was hardly to blame, which made things all the more bitter. Perhaps long ago, Dib should have let Zim destroy the world; before he lost his edge due to the depression of being abandoned by his planet. Not that Zim had much of an edge to begin with, but at least it was better than the petty little extreme pranks he liked to pull nowadays.

The idea of Zim being such an outcast to his own kind had always made Dib feel somewhat bad for him, as well as relate to him. Though maybe that's why Zim seemed so offended by Dib's rejection? Zim found humans a much less superior group of beings compared to Irken, so if not even the 'primitive' creatures wanted him...

His father continued to speak about his future plans to try and cure his son, but of course Dib was in his own thoughts, drowning him out. His eyes wandered over to Gaz, who was staring intensely at him and raised her eyebrow when they made contact. As if she knew what he was thinking, she did a slight shake of her head, causing him to sigh and lean back against the bed.

The worst part about it was that despite the fact he had the freedom to escape from his nemesis forever, who was practically a toxic growth on his backside, he didn't necessarily want it to be like that; it was Gaz who suggested it, and of course, Dib had agreed with disdain because it made sense. He didn't need to be running around everywhere when it took so much strength just to even out his breathing; he didn't need to be in fights because his body could no longer handle it. He didn't need to stress his body out and prevent it from curing itself- if that was even possible. He didn't need to waste the rest of his life, short or not, worrying about an alien who was very obviously incompetent and didn't really need to be monitored anymore. 

However, there was another secret reason, or at least two, as to why Dib figured it was the best choice to tell Zim to go away. Something he couldn't tell family or Zim himself, because admittedly, he knew it was stupid. Curse him and his big, stupid brain, and his pity toward a creature that made his life a living Hell.

It didn't help to see such raw, painful emotion on the green-skinned alien and not being able to justify himself to the other, to lessen the hurt or at least explain that it was better in the long run, since he knew it must hurt Zim to know he wasn't wanted by _anyone_... Yes, Dib knew that feeling all too well.

Zim was toxic, but Dib had grown comfortable with it, and didn't want the alien to feel how Dib felt (since Dib had always been a pushover about feelings). But, that's how it had to be.

He slowly tuned in to his father saying something about Dib being well enough to come home the day after. "Huh? Oh, right." Dib mumbled. _The beginning of the end of my life, pretty much,_ Dib thought to himself.

"Now don't worry Dib, everything will be okay," Professor Membrane assured his son as he began to prepare to leave the hospital. "I'll see you tomorrow. Coming, Gaz?"

Unfortunately, out of the two siblings, only Dib could drive legally currently (though he didn't do it often), and Gaz most likely didn't have money for a taxi, so she had no choice but to leave with their dad when he said so, even though it looked like she wanted to be alone with her brother. Probably to yell at him. "Yeah," she grumbled, shooting one last look at her brother with a face full of different indescribable emotions before heading out of the door, leaving Dib to be by himself.

Dib settled deeper into the hospital bed with a huge sigh. Was he making a mistake with all of this? He felt as though he was. Not that he would have much time left to muse over it, probably.


	3. The Evil Plot of Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gir and Zim have a moment while the latter comes up with a plot, and Dib thinks of his own plans.

For the first five minutes of skool the next day (before he was suspended and sent home, of course), Zim did not see Dib at all. He expected it though, considering how bad his wounds seemed to be when he last saw him. The alien wasn't even sure what to do if he had spotted Dib, his mind had drawn so many blanks. He wasn't going to just let the Earthling walk away from their ongoing quarrel, but he also didn't want to become enraged again if Dib refused to listen, and cause another ruckus that forced him to be suspended even further. Zim also _really _didn't want to feel those sour emotions that he had felt previously.

Since it was Zim's first time really getting in trouble at skool, they only suspended him for two days, not including that day. Surely by Friday Dib would be well enough to be at skool when Zim came back? Not that the blood-red eyed being knew what to do if he confronted the other. 

While Zim pondered these things, Gir was sitting in front of the TV that Zim had repaired (the only thing he had actually repaired currently), quietly singing along to another one of his 'favorite shows' that was really just a very annoying commercial about MacMeaties. The robot had lowered his voice tremendously after Zim's tantrum from yesterday, only talking in his normal tone when spoken to.

Eventually, he confronted Gir. "Is Gir mad at the Zim?" The alien asked from the living room floor, the only thing he could lay on in peace for the time being. He watched as Gir turned around to face him, head tilting slightly.

_"No,"_ was all that was said.

"Then why do you act strange?" Zim frowned, a slow irritation beginning to burn within his belly at such a simple yet infuriating answer. "Are you preparing to abandon me as well? Are you plotting against me?!"

_"No, Master!"_ Gir squeaked, getting up and taking a few steps when rushing to Zim before stopping in his tracks, looking unsure to go any further.

"Explain then, robot, I order you!" Zim demanded, sitting up to glare at the contraption. Zim knew Gir had the ability to go into deeper conversations than he used to years ago, from the many upgrades; unfortunately, it didn't stop the wild sentences, phrases, or shenanigans that would pop up, but nonetheless, Zim knew he could explain the issue.

Gir seemed to tremble after a moment of quiet thought. _"You're scary,"_ came the reply that Zim wasn't expecting, who blinked in response.

"Of course I am, Gir, my job as an Invader is to intimidate!" Zim said, bewildered.

_"Feelings are scary," _Gir spoke, kicking the ground with his hands behind his back like a small child admitting to doing something naughty._ "You get mad and throw things. I thought I was gonna go flying."_ He raised his arms in exaggeration. _"Like a big ol' space rock!"_

Zim tilted his head as he processed these words and connected the dots. "Did you think I was going to harm you, Gir?" Of course, anyone would tremble at the thought of the mighty Zim destroying them!

Gir nodded, lowering his arms._ "Don't want you stressed out. Want some cheese?!" _He suddenly waddled to the kitchen to open the dangling door of the fridge all the way and pulled out a bag of shredded nacho cheese that didn't look very good, since the fridge was no longer plugged in to keep it cool.

The words that Gir spoke only confused Zim even more than before. Following the other into the kitchen, he attempted to clarify. "So, you thought I was going to harm you, which would stress me out?"

Gir nodded once more as he began to lick the inside of the bag; another reason why the contents probably didn't look the best. _"If I wasn't here, I wouldn't be able to help you!"_

Zim repressed the urge to roll his eyes. "You don't help me either way most days, Gir."

_"I make you smile,"_ Gir's response was as he tossed the empty bag at Zim. The alien was about to snatch it and throw it back while saying something snarky, but paused in thought. Gir wasn't wrong. Though most of the time Gir irritated him, he had to admit that the antics his robot got into when he wasn't doing brilliant and important plans, was fairly amusing, and did cause him laughter once in a while to see absolute failure be dealt with by anyone other than him.

_"Gir misses your smiles."_

Zim refocused on the robot, eyes narrowing. "What do you mean by that?"

Gir sighed like _he _was the one explaining things to one with a child mentality. He began to walk out of the room and sat back down on the floor, causing Zim to get irate for not getting an answer right away. Just as Zim was about to open his mouth, Gir began to talk once more.

_"You were so sad, Master,"_ Gir again spoke much more quietly than normal but still in his high pitched voice, _"'cause of home. Nothing made you happy until I fell down the stairs once. So I fell down them fifteen times!"_ He looked up at Zim proudly. _"Now I try to make you happy lots!"_

Zim sat in silence as the words hit him like a brick. He knew Gir was defective to the point of having a basic emotional capacity, but he didn't know it was this deep. Gir didn't even care about his own safety, he only cared that he wouldn't be around to keep Zim from practically self-destructing again like all those years ago. Those had been dark times.

"Gir..." Zim said softly. "You're an idiot." After a moment's hesitation, he added, "Thank you."

Gir seemed surprised by the gratitude. He gave the alien a wide grin and flung himself at Zim to give the other a giant hug. Zim flinched, not particularly appreciating physical affection, but accepted it. As he was being squeezed to death by a whimpering pile of bolts and emotion, Zim continued to speak. "I would never destroy you, Gir. I've dealt with you for far too long to let it go to waste now." _Unlike some disgusting hyumans,_ Zim thought as he remembered Dib. "Besides. I guess... you're all I have left." He flinched at the thought. He was truly all alone now, with only a spastic, hyper robot keeping him company. He would take it, though.

No. No, he would not take it. He still refused to accept such blasphemy from something so inferior such as Dib-human. Just as he had refused to accept his Almighty Tallest Red and Purple's abandonment for the longest time. Zim would fight it this time and prove his worth. Prove that _Dib _was in the wrong for trying to 'move on.'

Move on to what? The boy had nothing except a constant obsession with aliens, especially with Zim. His father was a rich scientist but he knew Dib didn't want to follow in Professor Membrane's footsteps. He was still planning to be a paranormal investigator, as far as Zim knew. How could he be a paranormal investigator and ignore the 'paranormal activity' just a block from his home? No, Zim would find a way to get his attention back.

But... then what? Dib would keep hunting Zim forever, of course. Right? Zim frowned to himself. Or was Dib truly over Zim and ready to move on due to disinterest or having better things to do? Zim could admit he wasn't as lively anymore and wasn't really trying with his plans for world domination. No, with the way everything was going, Zim couldn't just re-declare Dib his enemy in the name of 'it's his job and he's supposed to'. Dib needed a bigger motive to rekindle his enemy's hatred, that much was obvious. 

Why did Zim even _want _to be continuously harassed and nearly captured for the rest of his life, anyway? One of these days, he could very well be caught and then Dib would turn him in. _Ha, he has as much luck catching me as I have luck in taking over Earth!_ Zim thought before flinching at the unintentional jab at himself. He then sighed deeply. He had so much more to live for than just worrying about disgusting humans. He could leave Earth even and roam to wherever he wanted to go! Besides the Irken Empire of course. He had a much better purpose than being bothered for the rest of his life by Dib-stink. Yet for some reason... 

Zim mused over his thoughts for a while, absentmindedly rubbing the top of Gir's head like he was a legitimate puppy. Perhaps... Perhaps a peace treaty? Followed by an ultimate betrayal of some kind. The green alien nodded with satisfaction. It was a perfect plan.

Maybe he could even offer his friendship! Then the betrayal would be that much more bitter and Dib would have no choice but to declare war in the name of 'justice'! Internally, Zim could feel that there were several potential flaws in the plan but he pushed the thoughts away as usual and picked up Gir, swinging him around happily. "Gir, I know what to do!"

_"Okaaay, but-"_ Gir suddenly hurled up all of the cheese he had just eaten a few minutes ago.

"GIRRRRR!"

_"Sorry!"_

~~

Dib was not in skool on Friday, either. This upset and annoyed the alien as he impatiently sat through the entire day, waiting for the tall 'nerd' human with the large glasses to walk through the halls or appear in their shared classes. He had never showed.

Huffing as he picked up his backpack from his locker in preparation for leaving toward home, Zim silently (and possibly even a little worriedly) pondered on if Dib was simply avoiding his enemy, or if he was still in the hospital from their little tussle. Maybe at home, resting?

Red eyes beneath painful contacts seemed to focus in on a group of kids nearby, causing Zim to snap out of his thoughts. It was the most gossipy collection of students that the skool had to offer. Among them was an old Elementary 'friend' called Keef, whom Zim had mind-controlled at some point (and did other less important experimentation). Eventually, it had worn off when Keef somehow managed to lose both of his 'eyes'- a long and also unimportant story- and he was given new, better ones by a doctor who did NOT want to mind-control the child. A waste of time and resources, Zim had thought.

Along with the mind-control, went Keef's awkwardness and loneliness when some 'groupies' seemed impressed to hear that the boy had gone through almost twelve hours of surgery for a fresh pair of eyes; something Zim had laughed at because he could probably do it in two minutes. Therefore the child began to hang with the cool kids, and they seemed to realize his potential for gathering information, to ruin the lives of other less popular kids. He grew high on the food chain very quickly after that. 

Oddly enough, Zim had Keef to thank for being as high on the food chain as _he _was, though the Irken _was _only in the average department. Because of Dib's loud obsession with calling Zim an alien and therefore becoming unpopular himself, Zim was also reported to be on the 'freak' list for being associated with another freak. It wouldn't have mattered normally, but he found it mildly annoying to be pushed around or bothered when middle skool began to start. 

All it took was for Keef to say, "He's cool guys," for them to leave Zim alone and even allow him to be a part of certain activities. Keef was an idiot for letting Zim off the hook when he knew technically that the alien had taken out his original eyes in the first place, but then again most of the snobby popular kids weren't that intelligent. Yep, Keef fit in very well with his new crowd.

The reason for Zim's sudden interest was that _because _Keef and his friends were so 'talkative' as they liked to call it, perhaps Zim would be able to find useful information from them. He walked over boldly, hoping he looked confident enough to impress them so that he wouldn't be preyed on. He learned very quickly that these monsters would stab anyone in the back if they happened to smell fear; not that he was actually afraid. Zim then cleared his throat and waited to be noticed. It didn't take long.

Keef's bright green eyes looked up from his phone. His red hair was now a big, wavy mess that apparently many gross female humans seemed to love, and he was even paler than in Elementary. The boy smiled kindly as he always did when he saw Zim and said, "Hey buddy. What's up?"

The whole posse was now staring at him expectantly, and he cleared his throat again softly, feeling his face rise in heat. "I was just wondering if you've heard anything from the Dib."

One of the girls wrinkled her nose and a boy raised his eyebrow, while the rest continued to stare. "Why do you care? He used to bother you so much," Keef said, probably voicing their concern.

"I- I _don't _care," Zim stammered, "Zim is just curious is all. After I beat him nearly to death, I never heard anything more about him, hah..." Zim would rather just fix his cameras at this point and go back to stalking than try to explain things without looking 'loony' and 'obsessive' as the humans called it. Exactly what they had called Dib, even.

"I heard he died," one of them spoke up, causing a rush of both heat and cold to swell inside of Zim's chest. His legs began to shake without his control and he could barely hold himself up. He gripped one of the lockers to steady himself. Nobody seemed to notice or care that Zim suddenly felt like death itself.

"You're so dramatic, Tess," another complained, causing the ice building inside of Zim's heart to melt. Of course, these were gossipers. Not all of their information was correct.

"My friend's cousin knows this guy who plays some nerd game with Gaz," another kid spoke to. _Such complex social connections,_ Zim thought in annoyance. "-And he heard her and her dad once about Dib while some online thing was left on for people to hear. Their dad wanted to start homeschooling him but said he wouldn't right away or whatever, and Gaz was mad because she wanted to start it right away."

"Wow, I guess Dib really isn't all that smart, huh?" Keef laughed. "That's good news though, Zim. He'll never have a chance to bother you again! I mean, it's not like it was your fault he pissed you off and made you hit him, right? Zim?"

Zim had left the group without a sound.

"Oh, I hadn't told him the rest yet!" The kid complained. "Apparently Dib's sick, which is why he's being homeschooled."

"Ew, is it infectious?" One of the girls demanded. "He was here on Monday looking like shit, even before Zim whooped ass."

"No, but it's bad, like _really _bad," the other explained. "They said it's a newer thing, only a few others aside from Dib has gotten it. Something to do with his body attacking itself I guess? Like literally his body is destroying itself in a way, but even _worse_. Gaz apparently sounded really worried and hysterical about it."

"Of course, she's the only one who even likes that dweeb," a boy replied. "And that still says a lot because she can't stand him most days."

Their laughter due to a lack of remorse sang like an evil choir throughout the hallway, but Zim was long gone from the skool to even have heard the rest of the conversation.

The blood boiling in Zim's ears made him feel lightheaded but still, he pushed on down the street, gritting his teeth together. Was he angry? He felt as though he was from the symptoms and reactions from his body, but the actual emotion couldn't be felt. He felt like he wasn't actually feeling anything, which was strange. Almost like he was about to black out again.

He knew things were happening but his senses had dulled to a point that if he were to get hit by a truck right now, he might not feel it, physically or emotionally.

What did the humans call it? Dissociation? He wasn't sure if that's what was happening, but from his knowledge on all things human, it was a fairly good description. He felt lost, numb, unsure, and out of place, which are things he's felt before but never to this extent. He felt as though he could just float out of his body and never return again. Like he wasn't grounded enough. Perhaps he was in a dream?

Speaking of almost getting hit, he heard in the distance a sharp honk, but his glazed over eyes barely flicked over in acknowledgment, instead continuing to walk toward the same direction. Would he yell at Dib? Beg for him to come back to school? There were so many things wrong with this situation. Why did he even care? Dib-beast was a nuisance, a poison or venom that seeped into his veins like fire and made him feel things he normally wouldn't feel, defective or not. It was frustrating, painful, and horrendous, to have the same type of feeling as a primitive monster such as... as a _human_. Zim had no need to feel anything except accomplishment, victory, and a lust for blood. That was how he was meant to be created. It should be a good thing for the Earth-worm to leave school forever.

Dib had gotten in the way for so long and yet, the Irken saved his pathetic, worthless life after nearly destroying it, had waited and wasted his time for an audience with the Earth-worm and became offended when he didn't show, even destroyed the interior of his base for hearing the words and feelings of his enemies that he already had figured, deep down inside of his 'spooch for so long. All in vain, selfish attempt to force Dib to resume being the same nuisance that used to cause Zim to nearly tear his antennae out.

Zim almost never used his PAK anymore except for storage, because every use made him taste bitterness with the knowledge that such tech belonged to a planet in which he was no longer welcome to. As well as not wanting to get caught using it, since as the years went by, more and more cameras filled the streets to watch for criminal activity, and Zim had no real use to it inside of his own home. Now, however, it didn't matter. He numbly activated his PAK legs, and the spindly metallic appendages spurted out, causing him to flinch as memories rushed through him. Memories he didn't want to remember and feel, and so his body seemed to shut them down as well.

With this, he sped faster along the street and absentmindedly slithered through people's backyards to reach his destination even faster. Eventually, Dib's house came into view, causing Zim to stop in his tracks and stare. The faded colors of light purple, grey, and black were now associated with such a disgusting, annoying, and useless being such as Dib that he finally felt his emotions come back, like they had been freed from whatever binds held them. And all Zim could feel was a deep rage.

Zim could have knocked on the door, or just barged in, but he was going to take it a little further. He used his spidery metallic legs to begin climbing up the walls, toward a window that he knew belonged to Dib's room. Without thinking, the alien punctured through the brittle material with one leg and proceeded to pull the whole thing out of the wall. He then clambered inside after it had fallen to the ground with a loud smash.

A small heap was huddled under the black sheets of the dark bed in the corner, and Zim crawled to stand above him, his body raised menacingly and blood-red eyes staring down with such hate and anger that he was sure the boy would be able to sense it filling the room. However, after a moment of studying, he realized that the Earthling underneath the blankets hadn't so much as stirred. 

Had Zim simply imagined all the noise he had created with destroying an entire window and stomping inside with his spindly legs? No, it couldn't be. Zim forced himself to focus on the creature underneath him, silently taking in the soft and rapid breaths that would end with a painful wheeze. He could sense sweat and at the same time, soft tremors from the boy. 

After hesitating for only a moment, Zim's fingers gently pulled the blanket from around Dib's face and neck area. The Irken retracted his PAK legs and landed lightly and gracefully on the edge of the bed, leaning in close to study the features of his enemy. Dib's eyes had dark circles under them, a symptom of lack of sleep, as well as other things. His skin was whiter than normal, pink lips open slightly as he took each ragged breath. The scratches on his neck had faded somewhat but still stood out in the sea of paleness that was his skin. 

Zim didn't know how long he had stood there, just drinking in every detail with his hungry eyes. Dib was definitely ill but Zim still didn't detect the smell of sickness at all. He _did _smell of something like burning meat and blood now, but perhaps it was just because of the cuts on his body? Zim hoped so.

Dib twitched slightly, causing the alien to jerk back. Dib shifted from his back to his side, his hands gently pulling at the blanket in order for it to be pulled back over his face. Zim, of course, was still gripping it tightly and refused to let go right away, causing Dib to stir once more in mild irritation and slowly opened his eyes. Zim was not expecting for the meeting to go this way, so he immediately tensed and leaped off of the bed lightly, landing a foot away.

The raven-haired boy's head slowly lifted, seeming to have felt the light push of something jumping off of his bed, and he squinted into the dark with a hazy look on his face. Their eyes met almost immediately, but Dib still seemed confused like he couldn't recognize the green-skinned creature. Zim wasn't sure why, but he lifted his hands slowly to peel out his contacts. Dark magenta fell upon shiny golden brown. Zim could see a growing realization in those pools of honey, then it was replaced with anger.

"Zim, what are you doing here?!" Dib demanded, voice cracking and hoarse. Zim could see the human boy was struggling to make an effort.

"How dare you not feel flattered for the Almighty Zim deciding to stand within your presence?" Zim hissed, though his words sounded braver than he felt. All negative and rage-inducing emotions were long gone by now. 

"Dude, how can you not get this by now?" Dib groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. Zim continued to study the other's features, seeing slight stubble scattered over Dib's chin, eyeing the narrow and bony set of shoulders, and running his eyes up and down every single scar and other previous battle wounds that littered whatever piece of flesh he could see. "Stop staring at me like that!" 

Zim blinked and turned his attention back to the now red-faced human, who continued to speak. "I told you Spaceboy, I don't want to see-"

"Be my friend."

"Ever- wait, what?"

"I grow tired of this as well, Dib-stink. Let us make a truce and create a disgusting bond of mutual fondness and endearment that you Earth-worms tend to do."

Dib didn't say anything, just squinted at Zim, who tapped his foot impatiently. Was he not assertive enough? Did he need to insist? Zim could do that. 

Before he had a chance to go further with his demand, Dib shook his head slowly with a sigh. Zim visibly flinched when the sound of creaking bones made his antennae twitch. "Zim, please just leave me alone," Dib spoke so slowly, so softly, that the Irken almost didn't catch it.

"I mean it, you primitive monkey!" Zim growled as he took a step forward, noticing the subtle leaning into the sheets Dib did as the other came closer. "The Zim truly no longer wishes to fight you."

"And I mean it too, go away!" Dib insisted before falling into a light coughing fit. Zim's body began to vibrate and he once again jumped onto the bed, pointing a sharp-clawed finger at his nemesis.

"I will not!" Zim spoke loudly and angrily. "Your pathetic attempts to rid of the mighty Zim will not work, you pathetic hyuman! I know where you sleep!" It was very obvious, considering Zim had climbed into the room unannounced.

"I'll move, then!" Dib spoke, but it didn't seem truthful. Nonetheless, the same unfamiliar sharp pain in Zim's chest resonated inside of him. 

"Why must you run from Zim so much?" He screeched, getting dangerously close to the other's face. "Why must you make this more difficult than it has to be?!"

Dib shook his head. "I'm really not. You are."

"You lie," Zim mumbled, and in a fit of rage and pain he yanked off his wig and threw it directly out of the hole where the window had been. Dib blinked as he realized there was a new alteration to his house. 

"What the fuck did you do, Zim?!"

Zim didn't answer, just slumped onto the bed with his antennae plastered against his head.

Dib let out a long, quiet sigh and fully sat up carefully, reaching for his glasses from the stand beside them and placing them on his face. "Why do you care so much, Spaceboy? You've wanted this for so long. This is supposed to make you happy. Make us both happy..." There was a quiet tremble from the last sentence.

"I... the Dib, eh... um..." Zim didn't know what to say. "You... That doesn't matter right now! How can you just throw everything all away?! Do you think you have anything else going on for you?" Zim lifted his hands to prove a point. Aside from new posters of disgusting, screechy 'bands' as the humans called them, that Zim had never seen before, everything else was practically the same. Still filled to the brim with paranormal objects and activities, the ceiling had been painted with green, glow-in-the-dark stars long ago, there were rocketship and UFO underpants all over the floor. Books of the paranormal were stacked up in convenient places, and most importantly, he could still see old diagrams and stats based on the Irken race, even pieces of their language here and there. "You've dedicated your life to this, and you're going to abandon it?!"

"No," Dib said, looking away, an emotion that Zim couldn't read on the human's face. "I'm not. I just don't want to deal with _you _anymore."

Zim looked like a wounded puppy. "Not even if we were 'friends'?"

Dib slowly looked toward the other creature, face blank. "_Especially _then. Because I know you, and I know you could never have any feelings besides some type of hatred in your heart. I'd only be a pawn in one of your shitty, cruel plots."

Zim clenched his hands into fists, claws biting into his skin and drawing blood. "I shall prove it to you hyuman, just you wait. I shall be the friendliest friend to ever be your friend! Starting with me fixing your window." He heard a door slam and Gaz's voice call for Dib. "Which will have to wait for tomorrow." Zim activated his PAK legs once more and crawled to the hole in the wall. "I'll see you tomorrow, Dib-pig!" With that, he rushed out of the house, snatching the wig that was stuck in a tree as he passed it. 

_Stupid Dib with his stupid face doesn't trust the Zim... I am the most trustworthy! _He gritted his teeth as he headed toward his home, hoping to not run into any humans as he placed his disguise back on and descended onto his regular feet. 

He would show Dib.

~~

"Bruh, what happened to your wall?" Gaz demanded as she entered the room without knocking, a habit that had caused many issues for the both of them and yet she still continued to do so. "Zim?" Funny how she immediately knew the truth. That was how predictable the Irken was anymore.

Dib nodded quietly, replaying the look of hurt on Zim's face in his head over and over. The alien had obviously grown some type of dependence on the human, that much Dib realized. He had almost nothing without Dib, and the raven-haired boy figured that the feeling was mutual. They both worked so hard, studied many hours, and plotted so much, for years, and now it was all a waste. But they would just have to learn how to make do; if only Zim would give it a chance and stop making it harder for the human.

He wasn't sure if he even could like Zim in a friendly way, but he fell into this pattern of half-assed fighting routine, had dedicated half of his skool life studying the Irken and his race, and even at times was able to see his enemy's vulnerable side, proof that the alien felt things other than a craving for dominance which only fascinated and fueled Dib's drive even further. He would be lying if he said he wouldn't be lost without Zim. The truth was, that even though Zim was positively, highly obsessive and desperate for some type of validation while Dib seemed more aloof and uncaring, it took all of Dib's mental strength to not have the same reaction.

If anything, he needed Zim more than Zim needed him. Zim could leave the planet to another one, start over, and probably had many more years ahead of him than Dib had, even if he survived to be 100. Dib had almost nothing because he had already permanently ruined his social life, most of his skooling years, and his relationship with his father enough that he would definitely not be supported financially or otherwise, even if he did go to college or chased after his dream job. Sure Professor Membrane was concerned for his son's health, but that didn't make the relationship _good_.

Therefore, if Zim were out of his life, he'd have nothing except years of research down the drain and a family that thought he was insane or annoying. It almost made him enjoy the way Zim reacted to his rejection, validating himself that he was wanted in some way, while making himself feel worse at the same time because Zim was feeling unwanted himself, though as Dib reasoned, at least Zim had more going for him at the end of the day. Besides, Zim was dramatic. There was a chance he didn't even care or feel anything except the initial offense that Dib thought Zim was beneath him.

Ha.

Gaz had come over to sit next to her brother, both quietly brooding over their own thoughts. Finally, Gaz scuffed her foot across the floor as she carefully picked out her words. "He's not gonna stop bothering you."

"I know," Dib mumbled as he stared down at their feet.

"Would... would you telling him you're sick, get him to stop? I know he doesn't like germs."

"I'm sure he knows it's not germs, Gaz." Dib sighed as he placed his face into his hands. His head hurt. "He can sense them, or smell them or whatever. Not the germs themselves but ya know, when someone's sick _because _of germs. He had learned to sniff it out. I'm sure it's confusing him, but I think he's figured out by now that there are no germs." _He might have even learned to smell death itself on someone,_ Dib thought, but then shook the thought away. He was dying, but not enough for Zim to notice, he was sure. Otherwise, he might have said something. Maybe.

"Damn," she muttered, going back to her thinking. 

Dib chewed on his lip and stiffened with anxiety, wanting to suggest something but not wanting to annoy his sister with 'stupid ideas'. Gaz seemed to notice his change of posture and turned to stare at him, waiting for him to speak, so he let out a groan.

"What if we just tell him the truth?"

"What _truth_?" The glare in her eyes made him flinch.

"That I'm dying. Maybe he'll, I dunno... back off?"

"Or get even more involved and start doing his dumb experiments." Gaz shook her head. "Not a chance, knucklehead."

"Well, Irken technology is more advanced anyway..." Dib trailed off. Why hadn't he thought of that? If Zim could save his life, then he would be able to get his life back on track!

"This is Zim we're talking about, here. He's not the brightest with his own equipment, and there's a huge chance he'd make you do something really weird in return."

"Gaz, Dad isn't getting any closer to the problem," Dib insisted. "I'm dying. My body is literally breaking down-"

"Dib, stop."

"-and my brain is eating itself," he continued.

"That's not even the scientific-"

"My organs are failing."

"Dad will figure it out!"

"It's progressing so fast." He saw the frustration in his sister's face, but he kept a level eye with her. "And I've had it for two months, it was just under the radar for so long. The other people, the kids, who have gotten this have all died because the scientists couldn't figure it out. What makes me any different? I have a good few months left, if that. The only thing to do is either give up and drop dead or do whatever I can."

"Even if it means asking for help from the little Gremlin that made your life a living Hell, destroyed your window, and oh yeah, whom you already rejected who knows how many times? And you think he'll help you?" Gaz laughed coldly without humor which caused Dib to flinch. He knew his little sister was only trying to protect Dib, but sometimes she was too harsh.

"No, I don't," Dib admitted, clenching his hands into fists. "He offered me his friendship though, and to fix the window _he _broke, so maybe eventually I'll gain enough trust for him to want to fix me."

"Sounds more like you're walking right into a trap, knowingly," Gaz grumbled, and Dib smiled weakly.

"Maybe I am."

"You two are inseparable, I swear." She shook her head. "I thought I'd be able to pry you two away, but..." Gaz huffed and looked up at her brother, sorrow embedded deep into her eyes. "I..." Dib waited patiently, knowing she was even worse at sharing emotion than Zim himself sometimes. "Just do what you gotta do, and don't fucking die, you idiot." She finally said as she stood up. "And don't let Zim hurt you or I'll hang him by his scrawny little alien neck." 

Dib nodded, watching her walk out, stopping only at the doorway to add, "You'd better hide that hole in the wall for now if Dad comes in to check on you." He watched her depart then turned to the wall himself, letting out a huge gust of air that burned his lungs as it escaped. What was he going to do with that tiny little alien?


	4. Insane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib and Zim annoy each other a little, and Dib has an argument with his father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always saw Dib as the kinda person who would be into classical/ older music or catchy pop music as a kid. I'm not sure why... Then I turned him into an edgy, angsty teen like I once was, though he deserves it more than I did. Oops.  
I usually try to show readers where someone's head is, through the type of music they listen to. I apologize in advance if it becomes annoying.  
Also I feel as though I don't give Dib enough attention, so this entire chapter is dedicated to him.  
I hope you enjoy.
> 
> (Songs: Crawling in the Dark by Hoobastank and Alone I Break by Korn)

For whatever reason, Dib was fairly nervous about Zim coming over the next day. He knew the Irken would arrive regardless of what he did to stop him, even if he had Gaz text or call him to chew him out and threaten his life; which honestly was his best line of defense at this point. 

Dib had cleaned his room and the rest of the house as best as he could in a somewhat panicked frenzy, pausing every few minutes for a breather though since his lungs constantly felt like giving out. Gaz had just left for some skool project thing and somehow the raven-haired boy had convinced his father to continue his work and leave him alone for the day, instead of poking and prodding the boy with needles. So hopefully he could have some alone time before Zim came to ruin more of his life, and there'd be no interruptions _while _he was over.

Though Dib wasn't sure when Zim _would _come, he imagined it wouldn't be too much later. Zim didn't sleep often, if at all, and he was _especially _very active when he was enthusiastic about doing something. Dib was almost surprised he hadn't come over immediately at midnight with the claim, "It's the next day!" Yes, that sounded very much like a Zim thing to do.

Making sure to spray disinfectant so he wouldn't have to hear Zim's possible whining and nagging about how germy the house might be, Dib cleaned in painful silence, after a moment turning on one of his speakers to drown out his thoughts, ragged breaths, and otherwise the dead noise. He sighed softly as music filled his ears. He used to never listen to this type of music, even went so far as to think those that did were below him, along with their simplistic, repetitiveness lyrics and beats, but things changed it seemed. The lyrics became more important to him over the years as high skool began, when he started to feel the words grab his throat with an icy grip and wrap around his brain, consuming him. 

After finding out he was ill, he had fallen even deeper into the pit of 'sad' and 'edgy' music.

_"And I wish I could know if the directions that I take," _Dib began to sing softly to himself as he continued cleaning, _"and all the choices that I make, won't end up all for nothing..."_ Okay, maybe music wasn't the best idea. Dib might just have an existential crisis before the Irken got there, and he needed to be emotionally prepared and ready for the tiny, crude alien in case funny business were to start. Still, he let the music play and gathered his dirty clothes to toss into the hamper in the hallway. 

There was a small thump, rip sound, and a louder thud coming from his bedroom, causing Dib to whip around with his heart pounding in his chest. 

"Ahh, help! Zim has fallen directly into the trap!" Rang a familiar voice, causing the human to immediately relax and even sigh in annoyance. Of course. "Such deception! You shall pay for this, Dib-beast!"

"Dude," Dib muttered as he walked slowly into his room to see a pile of sheets wiggling around on the floor. "Why didn't you go through the-"

"What?!" Zim shouted hoarsely. "I can't hear anything over the loud mechanical torture device that spews evil summonings into my body!" Dib looked over at his radio. The volume had been set to 10, which was decent for the small room and a little bit of the hall. He silently reached over to flick it off.

"I don't even know what you're saying anymore, but I imagine it's some failed attempt at pissing me off by looking up insulting phrases based on music tastes," Dib rolled his eyes at the flailing ball that was Zim. "I mean really, 'evil summonings'? This isn't even hardcore compared to my other music." He happened to look up at one of his Korn posters as he said this. "You've been getting lessons from old grannies that have heart attacks over anything that isn't classical." The music he used to only love was classical as well, but again, things changed.

Zim ignored him, still moaning like he had gotten shot while flopping all over the floor like a dying fish. Eventually, Dib huffed and ripped the sheet from him in one fluid motion, causing Zim to be flung into the wall. The Irken rubbed the top of his head with a groan, leaning against the wall. "Hah... hah... I've _bested _your trap, Dib-stink!"

"There wasn't a trap you idiot, I've been covering the hole _you _made so that my dad might not notice so much from the inside. And he never goes around to that side outside, so." Dib shook his head. "You could've come through the front door, ya know."

"And get trapped by your family that way when I'm so vulnerable? Not a chance!" That's when Dib noticed the alien wasn't wearing his disguise, causing him to raise an eyebrow.

"I mean, they're not even here right now, I had to shoo my dad out because I didn't want him getting nosy. I didn't even realize you weren't going to put on your disguise."

"What? Well, o- of course, the Almighty Zim knew your family wasn't here, heh!" Zim looked as though he were at a loss for words, which was a rare but relaxing occurrence. It didn't last long. "Anyway, with your pathetic and puny human contraptions it would take a few days for your window to be fixed, but with my highly advanced tech, I shall fix it within the hour!" Zim looked proud of himself even though he hadn't even done anything yet, and began pulling various objects out of his PAK. 

Dib watched with mild curiosity before he coughed into his fist, feeling suddenly faint. Zim's antennae twitched and he turned his head to the human, studying him carefully. Dib stared back awkwardly, unsure of what to say, his breaths becoming more ragged and his lungs gurgling. _Damnit, why now of all times?_ He thought in annoyance. He hoped his body wouldn't act up today while Zim was over, but alas, it was doing quite the opposite. 

Zim stared for a few seconds longer before turning back to the hole in the wall, kicking things out of his way as he went. "If the Dib-human is not feeling well, he should rest. You'd only be in the way anyway." Dib flinched at the harsh honesty of the words and slowly sat down on his bed with his back to the wall so he could watch Zim while he worked. Zim jumped to and fro from the hole in the wall to the ground outside with his PAK legs gracefully, bringing up the shattered glass, the windowpane, and everything else including small chunks of the actual wall. 

Dib watched with fascination as Zim pulled something out that looked to be a giant flat magnet with little arms on the ends that spit small streams of literal fire, that seemed to slowly gather and meld the glass back into whole sheets again. He could feel his eyes drooping and realized he hadn't slept well last night before getting up at seven in the morning to prepare for Zim's visit. He had been up all night just thinking about his limited options to fix his dying body, of course, one including Zim himself. 

He reached over to the stand by his bed where his headphones had been placed earlier that day while he was cleaning, placing them over his ears so he could listen to music without bothering Zim too much. Plus, music helped him think and sort out his feelings.

However, within ten seconds of his music playing in his ears after choosing a song from his phone, Zim grimaced and gave Dib a hard look. Pulling one side from his ear, the boy demanded, "What," to the dirty look that he had been given.

"So that is the devil's music I've been told about?" Zim sniffed disdainfully, and Dib rolled his eyes. 

"Sure, Grandma." God, he sounded like a pretentious rebellious child but Zim was acting _so _obnoxious, and... old sounding. "It's actually by a band called Korn. I know you don't like _anything _on Earth, except maybe sweets, but chill out and let me have this."

"No, I can hear the disgusting screeching from here!" Zim snapped, antennae flattening to his head as if to prove a point. "Why do you listen to such awful howls?"

Dib could have given Zim a sarcastic, petty answer that had to do with Zim screeching in an even more terrible way, but for some reason, decided to be honest. "The lyrics are meaningful to me."

Zim seemed surprised by that response, before narrowing his eyes. "Why?! It sounds so, so... _depressing _and full of self-pity!"

Dib didn't answer, instead, letting the lyrics fill his head.

_"All this shit I seem to take,_

_All alone I seem to break._

_I have lived the best I can,_

_Does this make me not a man?"_

Zim seemed to have tuned into the words as well, an unreadable expression falling over his face, while Dib self-consciously rubbed his arm and looked over at the alien with sudden nervousness. It was time for less self-pity and more action.

"Hey, Spaceboy."

Zim snapped his attention back to the human. "What do you want, vile Earthworm? Can't you see I'm busy fixing your window?" He gestured to the pile of trash on the floor as if to prove a point, like Dib didn't already know somehow that it was there, though Zim hadn't really done much.

"I... I wanna take you up on your offer."

"My... offer?"

"Yeah. The whole friendship thing." Dib looked pointedly at him. "Unless that was all bullshit like I figured it was."

"What- no! No, of course it wasn't! The Zim always keeps his word!" Zim puffed his chest out as he stood up straighter, and Dib gave a small smirk, forcing himself to hold his tongue. Zim wasn't always the most honest, so Dib had to still keep an eye on him and make sure it wasn't a trap. But...

"I'm tired of the fighting anyway," Dib spoke softly, pausing his music so he could hear himself better. Zim had gone back to the pile of window in his room, and though he seemed to be ignoring the human, his antennae twitched very slightly, enough to keep him talking. He was always a rambler. "It's exhausting, and it always feels bittersweet since the very thing I grew up believing was my purpose, it... it's done more harm than good at this point to me. I dunno." Dib sighed, thinking back to every time he was bullied or punished for believing in aliens.

"What else do you have to look forward to with your pathetic human life besides the guttural squawks you call 'music'," Zim grumbled and Dib blinked. He hadn't expected an actual answer, though he shouldn't have been too surprised. 

"Well... there's the live version of those 'guttural squawks'," Dib replied as he raised an eyebrow at the alien. "Those are pretty fun, I guess, uh... so I've been told. There's also, ehm... Well, you and Gir like walking to the park."

"_Gir _likes the park, not me."

"You like Gir," Dib said stupidly, as if that's supposed to help his argument any better.

Zim snorted in response. "I have _use _for Gir, that's it."

"You have the technology to 'fix' him though, do you not?" Dib insisted as he eyed Zim's sudden stiff, jerky movements. "You're smart Zim, I know you could do it. So why haven't you, unless you like the way he is now? Despite all of the whining, pouting, squealing-"

"Smart," Zim repeated, a flash of shock flicking through his giant red eyes. "I'm... Yes of _course _I'm smart enough, you dense little dirt baby. Perhaps I just find him... useful, the way he is. It is none of your concern either way."

Dib lifted his hands in defeat. "Alright, alright." Zim huffed and turned back to the window that was being sanded and bonded back together like a puzzle piece, with Irken technology he had never seen despite his years of research. He craved to start taking notes, but instead decided to drown out his thoughts once more with loud music.

As Zim worked and Dib felt his already pounding head throb even worse from the song (worth it though), the human found himself studying the features of the other in fascination. Zim really hadn't changed all that much, the same as Dib.

Dib wasn't sure what his own height was but aside from growing a good foot and at least being _close _to six feet, he remained a skinny, geeky-looking dork with only a slightly better-built chin, a more crooked nose because of his and Zim's constant fights, and shorter yet wilder hair. Oh and acne. So much acne. Luckily it was less inflamed and prominent as of late, though it was replaced with small dry patches. 

His clothing consisted of large shirts with alien or other paranormal logos, and plain black shirts, sweatshirts, or hoodies, with his traditional cape now splattered with bleach designs and permanent bloodstains, almost always hidden away in the closet. He had pairs upon pairs of black skinny jeans only because they were the only thing that fit his long and thin frame, with a few pairs of black and buckled ankle boots to knee boots.

He was never much into colorful things.

As for Zim, he was still very much petite, but Dib couldn't help but secretly marvel at the light yet impressive muscular build the Irken's body had developed. It made his nemesis- er, ex nemesis all the more frightening since Zim was already so quick and intelligent on his feet. Although to most other humans, Zim was pathetically small and not built like an absolute rock like society wished all men were, but Dib knew what he was capable of. Even if he hadn't changed and still looked like the same small child that had flown to Earth about six years ago. Yes, even back then he was a ferocious beast not to be fucked with... most of the time.

Zim's shoulders were more square and he stood straighter most days to give off an air of arrogance and importance. His skin was a slightly darker green, possibly from the sun, or just from aging in general, but his eyes were still the same large and bright red and his attire was generally the same as well. He at least kept his theme of pink, red, and sometimes purple even if he changed the actual shirt type, since he _had _grown a few inches and couldn't really fit in most of his old striped shirts anymore. He also kept his gloves and still wore leggings, though many times people would comment on it. 

He had actually indirectly been a help to end the stigma of clothing stereotypes within the skool, since he really didn't understand why he couldn't wear them, which made him continue to, of course, wear them. Either that or he simply didn't care about the stereotypes of looking more masculine and played dumb whenever the principal mentioned it. Both were very plausible.

The biggest change with Zim though was that he smiled less. The quieter Zim became and the calmer (if one could call it that) he was with his 'plots' for domination, the less he laughed or grinned. Even if they _had_ been maniacal chortles and crazed, evil smiles all the time, they simply weren't there as much anymore and it was unnerving.

This didn't mean that Zim felt emotions any less; if anything, he seemed to feel more, which just made him angrier and more difficult to be around.

It was fascinating for Dib to see Zim both progress and degress at the same time whenever he felt something new or something stronger than normal. Ever since he had officially been disowned by his Tallests...

Those had been dark times. Now it seemed to be a continuing struggle for the alien to come to terms with the fact that he had too many malfunctions in his PAK to be a normal, unfeeling monster, and that yes, he felt more than just psychopathic tendencies. 

After a while of Zim sulking in his house doing God knows what once the rejection of his species had been made news to Dib (because of Gir, of course), he returned almost completely to normal, fighting Dib in any way possible as per usual. The only differences being that Zim was easily more pissed off and that he was much, much more violent. Oh, and the obvious lack of interest in discussing the actual problem that had caused him to go absolutely mad. Still to this day, he refused to speak on the matter, only mentioning to him and Gaz once that he was going to conquer the Earth for himself, not for his Empire. 

Zim suddenly straightened out his back and tried to shift his legs to stretch out more with a groan, mumbling something about stupid human floors in Irken; Dib had heard it just as his song finished playing. He raised an eyebrow at the alien, feeling somewhat bad for him. Dib also felt his emotions too much, and they usually consisted of empathy. Even if the person he was pitying didn't deserve it.

"You can use a pillow if you want."

"What?" Zim snapped, turning his head to glare at the human as though he had just offered to poison him. 

"Uh... you can use a pillow, I said," Dib muttered, scooting toward the edge of the bed so that he was closer to the other. "For your ass or legs, if they're hurting."

"Oh." Zim blinked, genuinely looking puzzled as he gave a careful nod. "Alright. Give me one of your fluffy head slaves."

"Head sla- you know what, never mind." Dib reached for one of the older pillows that he had at the end of his bed and tossed it to Zim who caught it easily. "That might help, I'm really not sur-" A harsh wheeze came from his throat as the air he had breathed in a second ago failed to actually reach his lungs before he exhaled. His body was reacting much more slowly than it used to, which caused problems like these; he wasn't even sure how it was possible. He panted a few more times, manually inhaling as deeply as he could, until his lungs stopped screaming for the oxygen that should have already been there. 

Zim watched the entire time, antennae on high alert and narrowed eyes studying the sight in front of him. Dib groaned. His chest hurt and his body began to have the normal aches he would start getting around this time. He had pain pills given by his father, but was scared to use one. Perhaps it was the paranoia that maybe his dad didn't make them correctly. As unlikely as that was...

"Dib-pig, what is the meaning of these wretched groans coming from your esophagus?" Zim demanded. Dib hadn't realized he was whining as the cramps and headache settled in.

"Uh, it's nothing Z- ah! Z- Zim," Dib ground out, gritting his teeth together so painfully that he felt like they might break. He clutched his stomach as he spoke, heart stuttering, chest throbbing, and bones aching. "Shit." These weren't the worst pains, but normally it wouldn't last this long either. And as usual, everything had to fall apart in front of his... ex nemesis. 

Zim had stood up, standing there awkwardly with eyes the size of dinner plates as he seemed to assess the situation. "Seriously, what's wrong with you, Dib?"

Dib jerked slightly in shock that his name, with no add-on, was spoken. It happened, but it was a rare occurrence, and usually still with no emotion. However, this time was different.

"Nngh," Dib groaned in response, holding on to his stomach like his life depended on it. "C- can you, uh, grab a... a b- bottle of p- pills on my dre- dresser?"

Zim continued to stare for a long moment at Dib who was hunched over in pain, before turning around and pushing his things around.

"It's a b- blue bottle..."

"Is it this?" Zim held up the familiar container and Dib nodded. He would be weak for one day and use it, and that was it. He could practically feel his body tear itself into little pieces and it made him want to puke. 

Zim walked agonizingly slow toward the bed, and stopped just out of reach of Dib's grasp, who couldn't help but growl. "Zim, don't you start-"

"First, tell me what's wrong." Zim's voice was soft, which was unlike the usually loud and violent Irken. His ruby eyes focused intensely into Dib's golden brown, arms across his chest as he waited for an answer.

"I..." Dib swallowed hard. "I can't th- think right now Zim, okay? Please."

"No, I said tell me!" Zim's voice grew louder. Ah, _there _was the whiny alien Dib knew so much. "Or Zim will toss these right into the toilet!"

Dib's body clenched with fear, and he gripped the sides of the mattress under him to steady himself. He knew Zim would do it, too.

"Th- they told you before I was sick, right? Th- that's all, dude."

"Lies!" Zim hissed angrily, pointed tongue lashing. "What exactly do you have, hm? Explain to me!"

"Zim-" 

"Explain!" 

"I- I have a disease, alright?" It was suddenly much more difficult to breathe, and the air felt too hot around him. Should he tell Zim the truth already?

No. He had to gain Zim's respect first, _then _play for the very, very rare sympathy card and then maybe he would help. He'd be selling himself out much too soon, otherwise. "It's putting me through some pain but I- I'll be fine."

"Pain how?"

Ugh. "Just... stomach pains. Headaches. muscle cra- ow... cramps." Speaking of, he felt his leg tense dramatically from a charlie horse and he leaned back on his bed, breathing through his teeth while he waited for it to disappear. "M- muscle cramps, definitely."

Zim watched the boy squirm for a few moments longer before carelessly tossing the small bottle to Dib. "Here, I can't watch you anymore. You disgust me."

Dib flinched with hurt and was going to demand what he did wrong, when another muscle locked up in his shoulder. He quickly dispensed a pill into his hand and popped it into his mouth, not caring to grab a drink of water. His throat was already repeatedly swallowing hard from the build-up of saliva in the back. 

Once the pill was forced down his throat, Dib sighed and fell back into his bed. A heavy silence fell over them both as slowly, the pill began to kick in and his pain melted from his body. He was still sore when he moved, but otherwise he could no longer feel himself fall apart. 

Dib finally lifted his head, half expecting Zim to be still working, half expecting to not see him at all, that maybe Zim was angry for some reason (again) and had left after. Instead, Zim's face was mere inches from where Dib's legs were hanging from the bed, staring blankly at the human. Dib jumped in slight surprise, and his face grew red. 

"Uh... Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Zim is not staring," Zim responded, eyes never leaving the other's face. 

"Really, so what are you doing right now?"

"...Looking."

Dib sat up slowly, his headache still present but not as strong. "Why though?"

Zim's eyes flashed, his face covered in an unreadable expression. "Do you know what your disease is called?"

Dib shook his head truthfully and said, "They don't really have a name for it yet. It's pretty new."

A look of suspicion clouded Zim's stare. "You aren't lying to Zim about being ill, are you?"

Dib held the gaze as steadily as he could. "No, Zim, I'm not. It's a new disease that, I guess, attacks you from the inside out. And it's not contagious."

"How long will it last?"

Dib chewed on his lip thoughtfully. "Well... depends. There isn't actually a cure for it right now, so at most, a few months." Again, he was technically right. It would only last a few months before Dib officially became a vegetable that would be bleeding out of every torn up orifice, or his heart would have given up long before then. He suppressed a shiver, and hoped he hadn't spilled too much that would reveal he was dying. Again, he had to get Zim's respect, and then his sympathy, and then maybe he would help if he found out Dib was dying...

It was such a long shot and even a completely idiotic, hopeless plan, but it was better than what his father was doing.

Zim pursed his lips together like he wanted to say something, when they both heard a door from downstairs and his father's voice calling for Dib. Speak of the devil.

Dib immediately flinched and swore under his breath, looking between the green alien in his room and his only half-fixed window. He jumped up and without thinking, grabbed Zim's arm, who snatched it away almost immediately with a literal hiss. Dib rolled his eyes and motioned for Zim to hide either under the bed or in the closet just in case his father wanted to snoop. Then he ripped open the door as he heard his name being called again.

"I'm coming!"

When Dib reached the bottom step, he saw Membrane was placing a box of pizza on the counter. His father then turned to face him. "How are you feeling, son?"

"Fine," Dib mumbled, reaching hungrily for a slice but his dad slapping it away gently.

"Not yet. This is for dinner but since you didn't want me around and I have a meeting to tend to later anyway, I figured I'd drop it off now. But at least wait for your sister first, alright? It's only noon and she's still at that weekend skool activity."

Dib groaned but nodded in response and looked up expectantly at the Professor, waiting for one of his speeches or maybe a few tormenting questions to annoy Dib, since of course that'd be why he was called into the room.

It was more the latter, it seemed. With a clear of his throat, Membrane knelt down just slightly so that they were eye to eye, hand on his son's shoulder. Dib felt it almost humiliating and unnecessary, considering he was only a few inches shorter than him, but looked back as evenly as possible. 

"Son, can you explain to me about the situation with... Zim?" The dad's voice was careful and guarded, but still held a light gentleness. Dib's eyes narrowed at the idea of Zim, inside of his room alone, probably snooping to use things against him. The feature didn't seem to go unnoticed by Professor Membrane, who tilted his head. "Should I be concerned in any way with you two?"

"What do you mean?" Dib looked away, ears burning as he glared down at the ground. "We, uh... I guess patched some things up, so. We're cool. That's all."

"I don't think I feel comfortable with that idea," Membrane spoke even softer, only making Dib more annoyed. "You two do nothing but fight, and over what I'm never sure, but I don't appreciate it. I don't think you should be around him."

"Yeah well, that's just what happens sometimes. We called a truce though."

"It just seems like he bullies you, and even your sister-"

"Oh my God." Dib actually began to laugh, though his face was stony and his eyes cold. "Just stop."

"What do you mean, son?"

"You know what I mean." Dib gestured wildly in the air. "All this! Acting like you care who's in my friend group or who bullies me-"

"I do care!" Membrane pleaded, but Dib wouldn't have it.

"When have you ever cared about my social life?!" Dib spat through his teeth, feeling a sudden overwhelming urge to just spew everything he felt right then and there. "When the teachers called you to let you know someone stuck my head in the toilet for the tenth time those past two weeks? And you _still _didn't know about it until a month later when Gaz mentioned it to me? _You picked up the phone_ Dad, you actually _talked _to them, and you didn't hear a goddamn word they said because you always had to be working on something at that point!" Dib pointed an accusatory finger at his father. "Not to mention, me and Zim have been fighting for _six years_, and you never cared before. Why do you care _now _Dad, hm? Because I'm dy-" Dib stopped to take a deep breath, remembering that Zim was upstairs, possibly listening. His father didn't respond.

"I know why you care now," Dib finally continued as he rubbed at his hair in frustration. "But as flattering as it is, you don't get to ignore how I've grown up almost the entire time, just to start bugging me about it _now_."

"Dib, I never pestered much because I knew you could, and _wanted_, to handle most things on your own," Membrane spoke in his same gentle tone. "I'm sorry that work was keeping me away from you when you did need me, but I resolved a lot of the problems when I _did _hear about them, did I not? Sometimes it would make you even angrier, because you would feel embarrassed to be saved by your dear old dad. So I didn't meddle as much as I could have, though I know I should've still done more despite your will." Professor Membrane's grip was even tighter now as he spoke. "Now, things are different, yes. And I'd like you to remain as safe as possible, especially from someone who already almost killed you once."

_Actually over a hundred times, maybe even a thousand,_ Dib thought bitterly as he pulled himself from the professor's grip a little roughly. "He didn't mean to." _Not that time, anyway._ "And you're wrong." This earned him an eyebrow raise from his dad, so he pressed on, heart pounding in his chest. "I learned to handle things on my own _because _you weren't there. I learned how to do things my own way, the right way, for myself. So when you came around and saw me taking care of my little sister, or saw me treating my own scrapes and bruises, or Hell, maybe you even spied on me when I was pacing or writing in my journal to figure out what to do about my issues..." Dib sighed heavily to try and calm himself. 

"Yeah, I might've looked put-together and mature for my age, but it was because it _had _to be that way. I still needed you, Dad. But you never cared much about _what _I needed from you, which is why things got even worse when you butted in at the wrong times. Not to mention that happened much later in my life, not when I was a little kid who was still scared of the world and was trying to get your attention at every possible chance."

"I'm... sorry," His dad murmured, placing a gloved hand to his chest. "I know I haven't been very good at being a father, but I'm trying now, and you pushing me away as of late doesn't help. And there's more to the Zim issue than his, ah, violent streaks that I don't appreciate." Membrane suddenly straightened, like he was talking pure business. "I've noticed his behavior. You might not have thought I was paying attention, but I have."

This time it was Dib's turn to cock his head in puzzlement. "Eh?"

"The way he talks, acts, calls himself an Invader..." Professor Membrane's voice was suddenly much harsher than before. "I'm not sure what happened but at some point, I think either you convinced the poor boy yourself that he's an alien, or he's the one who tricked you into believing in them in the first place."

Dib growled, throwing his head back in exasperation. "Dad I told you, I'm over that shit."

"You haven't thrown out any of your paranormal junk, and you still get defensive when I say aliens aren't real," his dad pointed out.

"Well yeah, just because I don't think Zim is an alien anymore-"

"Dib."

Dib huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "What now?" Membrane hesitated before pulling out a card and handing it over carefully. Dib stared at it, not reaching out to retrieve it. "What's this?"

"A card to see a therapist this week. This isn't just because of you and Zim's ongoing quarrel, nor your obsession with aliens. It's for both of those, and the emotional toll you've taken over the fact you're-"

"Right right," Dib quickly interrupted in a condescending tone as he snatched the card and stared at it. "You really fucking think I'm crazy, don't you?"

"Not at all son," Professor Membrane waved his hand dismissively. "Also try not to swear so much, you're rubbing off on your sister."

"Oh." Dib looked down at the card. "And no, she rubs off on _me_."

"I just think your brain is mentally unstable, which is different," his father replied, ignoring the comment about Gaz.

"Um... how?"

"Crazy isn't a scientific word, let alone something to use to describe your case. Some would call it, clinically insane."

"Right." Those words stung deep into his chest, causing a coughing fit. He patted his chest gently while his dad slapped him on the back a few times. "Insane... great."

"It's okay my boy. We just need to find out what's wrong with you-"

Dib flinched, jerking from his father once more, anger and hurt surging inside of him again. "You wanna know what's wrong with me? Having a lousy fucking dad!"

"Dib-"

"Leave me alone. Don't talk to me for the rest of the day." As Dib began to head up the stairs, he called down in an even crueler voice, "If you could not speak to me at all for the rest of my life, that'd be even better!"

As he stormed up the stairs, his eyes stung with the beginnings of tears. How dare his dad act so concerned and caring?! How dare he sit there and call Dib insane without sympathy?! How dare he try and have a say in anything his son does, _now _when he's almost legally an adult and also _dying_?!

Dib slammed open the door, realizing he was holding his breath, and inhaled sharply, blurry eyes looking around the room. He spotted Zim's antennae as the small Irken began to climb out from underneath the bed. "It's about time, Dib-human, I heard yellin-" Zim paused when he saw the tears free-falling down Dib's cheeks. "Ehm... Are you okay?"

"Fine," Dib hissed, "never better!" He didn't mean to sound so harsh to Zim, though he didn't seem phased by the biting tone.

"What-"

"My dad's an asshole!" Dib nearly screamed, kicking the door behind him shut and making sure it was locked tightly with a PIN number he had installed himself long ago. He didn't care if his father heard and knew he was talking to someone else, he wouldn't be able to come in anyway. "That's what! Calling me crazy and- and-" He dropped to his knees, face beat red, as he gasped and choked on his sobs. "...N- no, not calling me crazy. Calling m- me literally _insane_. I s... swear he's just tr- trying to push my buttons."

"You don't seem very sane to me right now," Zim commented with a careless shrug, causing Dib to look up dangerously slowly.

"Get out."  
  


"But I haven't finished the-"

"OUT!" Dib screamed, reaching to grab Zim by his scrawny little neck. "GET THE FUCK OUT!"

"I shall uh, _comebacktomorrowthen_-" Zim squeaked as he took off, practically tossing himself out of the window.

Dib grabbed fistfuls of his own hair and he felt his scalp protest in dull pain as he yanked tufts of it out, tears running down his face. It wasn't fair, none of this was fair. Nothing was going the way it should've been, could've been. He dropped down to the floor next to his broken window, panting heavily as his lungs screamed for air, his face streaked as he continued to ugly cry. Dib just wanted peace for his last few months on Earth. To not be bothered. Was that really so much to ask?

Apparently yes, yes it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a tendency to write school instead of skool, though I think I've managed to go back through and fix them all after one last proofread. I also tend to reuse words in the same sentence when I'm writing in the middle of the night. So if you see any of that, no worries. I probably will update it eventually, since I'm already constantly editing small details like that.  
Such is the way of life for a person with insomnia.  
Thanks for reading. <3


	5. The Last Thread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zim goes through his memories and also tries to diagnose a painful feeling in his 'spooch.

The incident from earlier replayed over and over in Zim's head as he tried to make sense of the feelings squeezing his chest in a death grip. He knew the Dib-human hated being called crazy or insane; it was one of the worst insults he could've been given, as silly as it seemed to the Irken. Still, he never before had reacted so... strangely to it. With tears of rage with screaming, not even preparing to physically fight like so many times before.

The boy had officially broken down due to a stupid word and it annoyed Zim. He had done so much worse to Dib than call names. It was the physical torment that mattered most, right? Yet Dib had never officially shed a tear over their battles (not including the last time when Zim pummeled him, because it obviously didn't count when Dib was not fighting back).

Even when Dib's arm broke, or his nose shattered, or the time he was nearly sliced in half, or when his shoulder nearly exploded from a laser that gave him painful blisters... Dib simply gritted his teeth and found a way to escape or retaliate. Zim was sure that Dib cried later that night or day once he got home of course, since humans were so weak and pathetic. However, the fact he had purposely never shown his enemy such vulnerability, or at least tried not to, was memorable considering all of their epic standoffs nearly killed both of them every time.

Now Dib was a broken near-adult, and Zim didn't know how to handle it or his own feelings on the matter. In fact, he didn't know how to handle his feelings at all. Zim's hands balled to fists, ignoring the painful sensation as his claws dug through his skin, even through his gloves.

The house was oddly silent as Zim's face was planted into the floor of his house, obviously deep in thought. It was almost as if even Gir, the loudest thing on the planet, was waiting with bated breath for his master to do something; probably waiting for the mistake the Irken always made when he was surrounded by nothing but his own thoughts.

Zim sighed heavily and began to access his fuzzy memories through his PAK, giving in to his sudden cravings. He really needed to stop torturing himself with this, but it was _still _progress since he hadn't thought about it for at least a month, right?

Slowly, the memories began to take over his brain again and he closed his eyes. 

~~

_It was a normal day. Zim would start his plotting, defeat Dib-filth, and contact his superiors to brag or beg for them to come and finally take Earth for themselves. He wanted to do good. He needed to do good._

_For some reason, his plans didn't work and he found himself by the end of the day, wincing at his swollen hand, the bruise on his jaw, and a small cut above one of his eyes. Dib had gotten bigger since last year and had a much better advantage, though was still no match for the elite Invader and couldn't finish the job. _

_He figured he would still need to call his beloved Tallests though and tell them how everything was going; they didn't seem to accept or return much of his calls anymore, and when they did it was short-lived. The longest he'd talked to them in a while was a minute and two seconds._

_Zim could feel constant nagging and worrying thoughts in the back of his head over their lack of interest, but he always shoved them down to the point he didn't even know what those thoughts were trying to tell him, only that nothing good could come from them if he allowed them to leave his subconscious and surface. _

_"Computer, contact the Tallests!" He called through the house, plucking Gir up from the floor who had passed out from eating too much disgusting Earth-worm food and placing him on the couch behind him. The screen then flung open with a low sigh from his computer, and after a moment, and much to Zim's pleasure, the screen blinked and his leaders were there, in front of him._

_Not looking amused._

_"My Tallests," Zim began, when for some reason Almighty Tallest Red held up his hand quickly._

_"Zim, we told you three times already. We don't want to hear back from you-" Red growled, but Zim decided to interrupt as well._

_"Until I finished my mission, yes I know, however it didn't go terribly today," Zim started again eagerly, but was silenced with one angry glare._

_"No Zim, that's what YOU said the past few times. We don't want to hear back from you at all," Purple finally butted in, face covered in donut crumbs._

_Zim felt his 'spooch squeeze slightly with something that humans would describe as anxiety. "My... my Tallests... I know I haven't succeeded yet, but I assure you-"_

_"Zim, you're in exile," Red said tiredly, and Purple cast a glare at him. "Yes, yes, I said it," Red snapped, eyeing the other before turning back to Zim. "We didn't want to tell you, since we figured you'd at least be smart enough to figure it out on your own. Since you're a, uh... 'Free Thinker'. I can't take it anymore though, I really can't."_

_"Wh- what..." Zim was so confused and lost._

_"You're a defect, Zim, and you're so stupid that you can't even realize what you truly are," Purple added, deciding to finally come to Red's defense so that maybe they could finally convince the small Irken of something he didn't want to believe. "You've gone against our word the entire time you've existed, though you do it because you're loyal to us which is so contradicting and, and WEIRD." Purple struggled to find the right words._

_"I assure you, it's all in good natur-" Zim insisted, face feeling hot and burning. _

_"You're defective," Red hissed, "so we've tried to get rid of you every way we could think of, but you keep coming back. It would be almost admirable if you weren't so useless."_

_Zim's teeth bared on their own as he glared daggers into their head. "How... how dare you?!" He snarled, tongue lashing out in a way that snakes do. "How dare you not see the brilliance directly in front of you?! The amount of sweat, and muscle, and determination, I... Z- Zim knows this must be a trap! A lie to see if I'm worthy enough! I promise you, I-"_

_"We don't even want you here for an Existence Evaluation, unless you want to be in prison or mercilessly tortured for the number of crimes and treason you've caused since you started life," Red hissed back, deep bloody colored eyes staring with such hate at Zim. "We know you're defective and a danger to our society, but luckily no other Irken is there with you to contaminate them. However, if we see you coming toward us, you WILL be shot down on sight, and should you end up living..." His lips curled into a cruel smile._

_"You... I..." It felt like Zim's brain was malfunctioning. What could he say to make them realize this was all a mistake? "I am... an outstanding Invader, my Tallests! Please, give me a chance to prove my worth to you!"_

_"You're not even an Invader, Zim," Purple mumbled through his donuts while Zim's heart seemed to drop to the floor. "You never were. We only tried to appease you for a while since you're a little menace and we didn't want to deal with any tantrums. All you are is just an oversized (but still small) smeet with the brain capacity of one, too. We gave you a defective SIR and you never even questioned it, for God's sake! You've been dealing with an idiotic robot because you're just as stupid and couldn't realize it!" Both of the Tallests began laughing loudly, harshly. Their faces scrunched up, tears of happiness rolling down their cheeks to see Zim looking dazed, confused, and hurt._

_Those last words are what did it for him. He wasn't even sure why, and he had never felt this feeling before but it seemed to take over his brain, numbing all senses and thoughts. He pointed his finger at the screen and began to scream._

_"**How dare you talk about Gir that way?!** Gir is much more than a dumb little robot, and I will not have you be so degrading! It is not us who are defective, it's you!" He began to pant as he stumbled through his words, his eyes full of ice while he stared back at the Tallests in challenge. "You wouldn't know a good Invader if they conquered your entire fleet! I'll show you, I'll dominate the Earth on my own without either of you and do it for ME, the MIGHTY ZIM!" He pumped his arm into the air in declaration, ignoring the cackling from his leaders- no, ex-leaders now. _

_"Ah, shut up and go back to your gross little human plaything," Red said as he waved his hand dismissively. "Your un-Irken feelings for it are disgusting."_

_Zim's antennae twitched and then flattened to his head. Were they talking about Dib? "I have nothing BUT 'Irken' feelings for that disgusting filth monkey, which consists of rage and hatred!" Zim growled._

_"If you did, then you'd have killed him already," Purple sneered. "It's so obvious you have AFFECTION for it, which is more disgusting than your affection for that pile of metallic trash called Gir."_

_Zim's eye twitched and he could feel his claws ripping his own skin on the palms as he balled his hands into fists. "I will never feel that way for anything, let alone a worthless hyuman! That includes you both, as well. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an entire planet to take over, ON MY OWN!"_

_The transmission ended from Zim's ripping the screen off of the wall manually, throwing it somewhere unknown. Something watery began to dispense from his eyes, and he rubbed them furiously as he gave small, shaky breaths. Oh no, what had he done? He had yelled at his Tallests..._

_He lifted his head to stare at Gir's blurry body, who had sat up and watched the situation in silence. He then turned his head in shame, running to the gross bathroom his base had created for him long ago. He couldn't let Gir see his master so unhinged._

_Ever since then, Zim had always been a little angrier with everything._

~~

Zim opened his eyes, chest heavy and head throbbing. He no longer felt liquid on his face every time he looked back like he used to, but it still always felt like a large weight was on his shoulders. There were many times after that, where he tried to reconnect with his Tallests, though they had never once picked up, going so far as to even blocking his transmissions after a while. There were other times Zim laid on the couch at night, afraid to see them coming to strip him of his PAK and leave him there to suffer and die. There were also plenty of times he debated on self-terminating because he had obviously failed his people, and his planet.

Now though, he realized it was _them _who failed _him_. And as damaging as it was to his psyche to think this way, he felt that maybe the Irken Empire would be stronger if they just adopted some simple human tactics.

The way Earth built things and society, trying to give people that were different from the majority the same advantages as 'normal' people. Although humans were still learning and obviously not the best with these ideals, it was better than the Armada simply throwing out good potential just because they were different. That was the _only _thing the Earth was better with.

So, _they _lost a good fighter, a good warrior, and Zim lost nothing of importance. Yes, Zim now came somewhat to terms with the fact that he was broken in some form or another to his people, but that didn't make him weak. It meant he wasn't a brainwashed fool like the rest of his species, that was all. 

It also meant that Zim no longer had a reason to suppress any emotions he felt or thoughts connected to any feelings, out of fear of being caught by his now ex-leaders. He no longer had to struggle to disregard anything inside of him that wasn't anger and loathing. That didn't mean he was good at acknowledging absolutely everything, but he also didn't completely shut down like he used to.

He knew he got more furious and frustrated when unrecognizable feelings swarmed him, however, and he still preferred hiding his feelings because it was easier than trying to figure them out and becoming enraged in the process. It was a delicate balance Zim had yet to master, and because of Gir's big mouth, his healing progress had been slow to even start that first year, considering Dib had found out.

Dib only taunted a few times, not really realizing how much it actually meant to Zim. Then after that, he seemed to be... concerned? No, he was pitying the Mighty Zim. Neither would admit aloud to it, but they both knew that Dib had too much of a compassionate side and cared too much for things that made his life miserable, such as Zim.

It hadn't even _been _the taunting that caused Zim to take a longer time to heal. It was the sympathy, as strange as it may be. He couldn't handle looking into those soft, delicate puppy dog eyes, the pinching of his lips together, the nervous tapping while the human figured out what to say. It angered Zim even more, which caused more fights and more violence, which caused Zim to become even more homesick since he wanted to tell his Tallests all about the epic battles and he couldn't because he was unwanted by them. It was a self-destructive cycle of chaos that entire year, and even now Zim was still unnecessarily aggressive. All because he wouldn't accept that his mortal enemy had _sympathy _for him, when his own planet didn't even care if he lived or died. Yet they had implied he _liked_ the human. How could he, when he had those, those _eyes_ that made Zim feel so weak in a way.

Zim didn't notice that Dib had gotten soft ever since then, until that very moment. Although Zim hadn't been putting in as much effort, Dib had put in even less for a long time now, still with that same curious, always guarded, and strangely worried look on his face. 

It was infuriating, to say the least, for Zim to realize he was always so 'busy' that he never actually took the time to focus and see that Dib was obviously done with all of this, probably for a really long time, and was just now finished with humoring the alien. And he realized then something else he would never actually admit to; he was tired of the fighting as well.

That didn't make sense though. Zim frowned softly as he sat up and stretched, cracking his back in several spots with a groan. If Dib was done with the fighting, and so was Zim, why not just let the poor human go and be a normal pathetic Earth-worm? He could find a mate to breed with, make ugly little squirming goblins, get a job of his choosing, and live the rest of his life not caring about Zim. 

The Irken wasn't even interested in conquering Earth anymore. He never liked the ugly little ball of dirt, and he liked it even less since it was a reminder of his failure as an Invader. He kept telling himself he was going to dominate it, but every time he did he would only think about Dib and what he might say about his next scheme; not whether he would or wouldn't fail his mission.

And Zim knew why. He would never even validate it within his own mind, but deep down he knew, as it sat in the back of his head unspoken. It went further than just feeling like he needed to be wanted, even if it was something like Dib-stink. 

No, he needed Dib, period. He wasn't sure why he felt such a powerful bond for someone he nearly killed almost every day for the past six years, or even what that bond meant. He didn't think it was a friendly bond, but it wasn't hateful either. It was simply, a powerful need. Just like fish needed water and nature needed sunlight.

Zim needed to hold onto this one last thread that was Dib-human to keep himself sane, to keep himself from feeling completely useless. The one final piece of his nostalgic past that kept him in place, stuck in one moment of time, when he was happier; full of shit maybe but at least his feelings didn't consist of overwhelming rage, fear, confusion, and loss. It had always been mostly pain-free, at least for his emotional state. Though Zim did like to feel anger and hatred, he did not enjoy the fact that it was because of his lack of control and grip on himself that he began to be so frustrated.

If he lost the very last thing that tied him to the good days of when he was blissfully ignorant and satisfied with his life, he felt like he would lose absolute control over himself. In what way, he wasn't sure. Zim was aware that even to humans, which were one of the most emotional creatures he had ever met, his feelings were not normal. He knew he shouldn't be so dependent on this one little creature to keep giving him life and a reason to live pleasantly.

More unspoken thoughts of doubt and fear and disgust began to eat at his mind.

Zim wasn't even sure if he could go through with his plan now, or what to do at all. Dib made it clear he was disinterested in Zim at first, yet changed his mind when it came to becoming friends. But Zim didn't want to be friends. Did he?

No. He didn't want to fight anymore, but he wanted to _want_ that feeling, so perhaps this would fix him. He just wanted to go back to the way things were, and he hoped if Dib hated him enough to keep fighting, it would reignite the fire in his own body and therefore he could simply keep floating in that beautiful period where all he could focus on was defeating Dib, which would distract his thoughts from other surfacing feelings that he allowed to escape (stupidly, because he thought at one point that it was the best thing for him). 

It was all so pathetic. Zim began to tug on his antennae stressfully without realizing it. He shouldn't have let himself open up. He shouldn't have started to become so angry that he could no longer control himself. He shouldn't have accepted his leaders disowning him, he shouldn't have let Dib get away with trying to tap out too soon and leave Zim stranded on a planet while everything around him swirled and fell apart-

_"Master?"_ Gir's voice was careful, quiet. Zim blinked, the always wordless, never fully formed thoughts that haunted him disappearing. They tried to suffocate him so many times before, that it wasn't much of a surprise to him.

Zim stood up straighter now that the nagging, hissing demons were at bay. He was better than any other Irken because at least he had a _choice _to be different, even if being different meant... this. And whatever happened, he would make sure to have Dib stand by his side, friendly or not. Shouldn't that be enough? Why must he overthink every small thing that didn't matter? 

"Yes, Gir?" Zim's voice was hoarse as he turned to his robot companion. Gir climbed into Zim's lap like a small child so he could resume watching his shows, and for once Zim didn't even make a grunt of annoyance. They both sat on the floor quietly, staring blankly at the TV but for different reasons.

Dib. Zim's organs churned once more at the thought of the human's sad face and disgusting wailing. His father had obviously insulted him, and as usual, Zim didn't make the situation better. He supposed he was simply expecting the other to argue with him or fight him, but... Dib was very much over the fighting, that much was certain. One of the new, unknown feelings made his throat nearly close up, causing him to hiss in annoyance.

"Computer?" Luckily the Computer hadn't broken during Zim's past rage, and he'd have fixed it soon enough anyway since most of his house was repaired now, either because of itself or with his help.

A familiar voice grumbled, and Zim said impatiently, "I need to know what this new emotion is. I can't seem to shake it off and it's becoming stronger each time I'm with the Dib. Help me out here." He knew his PAK didn't hold much valuable information about emotions, since he wasn't _supposed _to be feeling them in the first place.

The computer sighed loudly. **"Can you give me some symptoms?"**

"Symptoms?" Like physical symptoms? "Well, there's this constant choking feeling," Zim said thoughtfully, "and it always feels like my squeedlyspooch is going to burst or fall out of me. My chest hurts a lot of the time, and my breathing gets funny, and my head feels light and airy." He tapped his lips thoughtfully with a claw. "Perhaps the Dib managed to poison me without my knowing?"

**"Checking data, mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhh," **Computer grumbled and then made a sound that resembled the humming of a machine, and Zim raised an eyebrow.

"Why do you make that noise?"

**"I hear the human's computers do it all the time, I thought it'd be fun."**

"Well hurry-"

**"FOUND IT,"** it shouted over Zim's words, causing the alien to jump slightly. **"It says you are experiencing... oh... ho.. haha..." **All of a sudden the computer began muffled laughing. Well, as best as a sentient piece of tech could laugh. 

This only annoyed Zim even more. "Tell me already! Spit it out!"

**"Ahaha... From the data I've collected, it's told me you are having a crush."**

Now Zim was choking on his own saliva, and he coughed a few times to get the awkward burning sensation out of his throat. "Wh- what?" He wasn't completely stupid with human slang, he had heard all of these 'crushes' from skool classmates. "Impossible, I do not even like Dib-stink!" Zim shuddered at the thought. "You must be wrong."

**"Then give me something else to work with," **Computer grunted.

"I feel this every time I think of Dib and his disgusting, snotty face full of tears," Zim informed it firmly. "Pathetically crying and whining instead of fighting back like he usually does."

**"Hmm... It says it could be empathy,"** came a reply that Zim wasn't expecting. **"Or perhaps guilt. Does the feeling of absolute dread and self-disgust also plague you?"**

Zim thought for a moment. "I... suppose so, yes." Zim did not feel anything other than amazement for himself most days, but when he saw or remembered those tears in Dib's eyes, he found it hard to think anything positive, about himself or anything else for that matter. So he figured it was close enough.

**"Mmmm... yes, guilt or pity."**

"I see..." Zim didn't want to deny and start a fight with the computer, but he didn't necessarily believe what he was being told, either. He slowly turned back to the TV so he could try and focus on everything but the pain in his chest.

At least those two options were better than _that other thing_.

~~

The next day, Zim wasn't sure if he wanted to go see Dib or not. The human hadn't necessarily told the other to not come back, but he was sure that his presence would only bother Dib more either way. 

Well, they both were just going to have to deal with it.

It had been raining earlier much to Zim's dismay, so he had on a large red raincoat with matching boots, grabbed a decent-sized umbrella, and for good measure had slathered a light, nearly invisible coat of paste. He was definitely not a fan of the toxic liquid. 

_"I wanna go to the park!"_ Gir chirped, but Zim shook his head down at the excited looking robot. 

"Not today, Gir. You might short out again if the rain starts back up." He then beat his chest with his fist firmly. "Plus Zim _must _complete his mission with stupid Dib-thing." Gir began to pout so he placed a gloved hand on the top of his head gently. "Tomorrow, maybe."

This seemed to satisfy the hunk of metal as he wandered off back to his TV after flashing an adorably sweet smile. It was disgusting, the affection. Zim forced his lips to stop their attempts at turning up in the corners as well, and began his trek toward Dib's house.

Zim had his disguise on this time; it was too much effort trying to avoid people on the streets yesterday. Truth be told though, it was more of a forgetful mistake than a purposeful act of defiance or confidence, or whatever he might come up with to justify himself. He paused at the doors of the home, unsure if he should knock or just try climbing back up through the hole in the wall. 

Finally, Zim's fist slowly lifted in the air, hesitating an inch from the door before rapping on it quickly. He tried to contort his face into that of an innocent child just trying to see his 'buddy' Dib, so that maybe Gaz or Membrane would be merciful if they were the ones to open the door.

To his surprise, when the door cracked open he could immediately see Dib's face, which was lined with pure exhaustion and yet also wariness. 

Dib who was once olive-skinned at some point, now stood there like a ghost, the only color to his face was a red tint on his cheeks and the dark circles under his eyes. Dib had gotten paler over the years, but hadn't been to this extent before. He looked even worse than yesterday.

"I'm actually shocked that you came to the door this time _and _knocked," Dib's voice was gruff and unclear, but he gave a quick smirk to show he wasn't being completely serious, which made Zim relax quickly. "I figured you were gonna come, so-" he stopped to cough in his arm, "-I made sure to keep an ear out. Why are you wearing so much shit? It's not even raining out anymore."

"Hm." Zim moved past the Dib to stand beside him in the kitchen, hand on his hips as he looked around. "I like to be prepared. Where is everyone else?"

"Gaz is at some friend's house, Dad's... being Dad somewhere in his labs." Dib shrugged carelessly as Zim eyed the human.

"You don't seem very upset anymore about yesterday."

"Oh no, I'm still ungodly pissed," Dib chuckled without humor, a certain darkness flashing over his eyes. "I haven't even talked to Dad since..."

In one huge reflex, Zim had reached behind himself, into his PAK, and then thrust a bouquet full of flowers into Dib's arms.

"Pleaseacceptthisgiftasan-"

"Woah woah, what?" Dib stammered in shock, and Zim turned away in embarrassment.

"Accept my gift as an expression of my regrets," Zim spoke more slowly, antennae twitching wildly under the wig.

~~

_Several hours ago_

_"Ack! Computer, how does one stop feeling this... this pity or guilt?!" Zim hissed, scratching at his face in exhaustion. He had been tormented the whole night, even debating on sleeping just to be rid of the feelings until the next day, but the emotions were keeping Zim from closing his eyes._

_**"Well, normally if you're feeling guilty, you usually apologize,"** Computer said blandly._

_"Zim apologizes to no one!"_

_ **"Then that feeling won't leave."** _

_"What if I'm not even guilty and I'm just... sympathetic?" Such a thought was despicable to even think about._

_ **"Did you feel like this before yesterday? When you almost mangled the human to death?"** _

_"...Yes."_

_ **"And you feel a certain disliking for yourself?"** _

_"Hardly, but I suppose-"_

_ **"It's most likely guilt."** _

_Zim groaned in frustration. "But I don't wanna 'apologize'!"_

_ **"You could also present him with a gift."** _

_This made Zim pause to think. "Will this get rid of my icky feelings of 'guilt'?"_

_**"Possibly. Maybe." **Silence, then, **"Eh."**_

_"Eh? Why Eh?! Do not offer solutions that may not fully work!"_

_ **"You're kind of an asshole. You might ruin it unless you outright apologize."** _

_Zim's eyes narrowed. "I do not apologize. I don't feel bad for anything I've ever done! It is blasphemy is what this is!"_

_ **"...Do you even know what guilt really is?"** _

_"Um... Kinda? I mean-" _

_The computer rumbled a deep, annoyed groan. **"I'll explain it to you, and then you can shut up and go APOLOGIZE to him."**_

_"Fine, fine, see if you can sway me, I like a challenge!" Zim's chest puffed out, only earning another moan of agonizing torture. _

_**"Whatever. Also,"** Computer's voice suddenly became much more light, almost as if holding back amusement, **"maybe go buy the human flowers. Humans love them. Especially with having these types of FEELINGS. Heh..."**_

~~

"Uhh... Thanks?" Dib's face grew alarmingly red as he gently placed them in one of the unused vases on the kitchen counter and began filling it with water, reading the little tag that poked out. "'Black Baccara Roses'? They look pretty, uh, neat."

"Do you not like them?" Zim asked, disappointed. "I tried to find plants within your 'aesthetic' and color interests."

"What? No, they're awesome," Dib said as he turned to blankly stare at Zim. "Why, though?"

"As Zim said, I am expressing utmost _regret_-"

"You... are you trying to apologize?"

Zim flinched. "Perhaps." A small smile played on the other's lips, face still red and flushed, which only annoyed Zim.

"Apology accepted, even if it's a little... abnormal?" Dib looked back at the flowers that were practically glowing. "In such a perfect condition, too, normally when you buy flowers they're at least a _little _dead... And yes I mean you specifically Zim, you kinda have a black thumb..."

Zim didn't hear what Dib was saying, the sound of blood rushing through his head distracting him and a sharp pounding in his chest. His eyes focused on the red, splotchy blob that was Dib's blurred face and immediately exclaimed, "You are still sick?"

"Uh... yeah?"

"OH, oh, right." Zim wanted to slap himself for forgetting so easily. What was wrong with him? He couldn't function, his brain was moving too fast for him to keep up, and his mouth kept tripping over words. "Well if the Dib-beast is so sick and his face looks to be on fire, perhaps going to bed and resting would be the best option?"

"Don't start acting like my dad," Dib muttered, but not with venom in his voice. Instead, as Zim's hazed vision cleared, he noticed the human looked positively worn out and defeated before any fight had even started. "I slept like shit anyway, so I probably will go back to bed soon." He looked cautiously over at Zim. "Stay as long as you want but I'm not responsible for your dead body if my dad catches you. He's not... fond of you at the moment."

Zim's antennae perked even more at the news, his wig nearly falling off. "I thought your father enjoyed my company? Oh, wait." His antennae flattened again. "He must not like me still because I nearly sliced your throat to bite-sized chunks?"

"Pretty much," Dib mumbled with a shrug before coughing again.

"What if I also a... a... ap- apolog- ized to him?" Zim stuttered. He didn't really want to go buy flowers for Membrane too, though he chalked it up to wasting money.

"I don't think it'll help, dude."

Zim frowned, scratching at his face in thought. An awkward silence fell between the two until Dib motioned toward the stairs. "Should we go to my room then?"

"Yes yes," Zim waved his hand, "but first, do you accept Zim's gift of truce?"

"I already said yeah," Dib said with an unreadable expression on his face. 

"No, but are you sure?"

"_Yes_, Zim. I'm sure. I was mostly mad at my father anyway, though what you said _did _push me over the edge..." Dib suddenly looked away to avoid the bright scarlet eyes staring at him, and then Zim noticed the bald spots on the sides of his head.

"What happened to your hair?"

Dib flinched, tenderly reaching up to stroke the hairless areas. "N- nothing. C'mon." He quickly led the way up the stairs, long legs taking advantage of the fact that they were faster than Zim's, who was too lazy- and slightly too perturbed- to use his PAK legs.

Once in the room, Zim found Dib by the dresser, knocking back another one of those pain pills from before. After a harsh swallow, the boy walked to his bed and climbed into it. Yesterday, Dib was prepared for Zim in that he was wearing a basic shirt with a light jacket, and black pants. Today, he was still dressed in his pajama attire, which had little stereotypical spaceships on the pants, and one lone spaceship on the long-sleeved shirt. 

Zim frowned. Had Dib still been sleeping and simply flung himself down the stairs at the sound of a knock? Or had he just been too lazy to get out of his pajamas? He looked around as he took off his raincoat, seeing that nothing else had changed, except for more papers on the stand. Upon closer inspection, the Irken realized it was homework from skool for Friday. So, he really was being homeskooled? Not that Zim had much doubt left to begin with. He turned back around to see Dib already under the covers, curled into a ball like he was chilled, with his fan on high. This puzzled Zim.

"If you are cold, why turn that metal air flinging contraption on?"

"Huh?" Dib lifted his head, and Zim was surprised to see the boy's eyes were dilated and his face was even redder. "I'm not cold, I just... like to sleep like this."

Zim stared, tilting his head to the side. "Why do you look weird?"

"Uh...?"

"Your eyes are blown up."

"Oh, could be the medicine... they're painkillers so they might have weird side effects." Dib shrugged.

"You are still in pain?"

"Yes, Zim," Dib sighed deeply. "I'm gonna be in pain for a few months."

For some reason, Zim's 'spooch jumped into his throat. "What will happen after a few months?"

A somewhat cold expression took over on Dib's face, and he stared at Zim evenly, calmly. Too calmly. It was an act of force, not something natural. "Then the disease will be gone, that's it."

Zim breathed in and could smell the same rusty blood and burnt scent, and trying to sense Dib's feelings didn't seem to help when he had somehow managed to shut them down. This only made Zim all the more suspicious.

Dib's eyes had closed as he inhaled and exhaled deeply through his nose for a moment, then jumped when he felt a gloved hand touch his forehead. His eyes flung open and dark honey met with radiant crimson. Dib's body froze under Zim's touch, but the little green creature was determined to understand the problem. Was it some type of fever? He couldn't tell due to his hand being covered, which annoyed him. 

Without thinking, Zim plucked the glove off of his hand and reached again to touch Dib's forehead, which he had never done willingly that didn't have to do with maiming in some way. Dib's breath hitched in his throat, eyes large as he watched the Irken. Zim was surprised to feel that Dib wasn't hot, he wasn't even warm. His hand touched ice-cold skin, contradicting the red face that usually meant the blood was rushing there. It didn't even feel like Dib was still alive, causing his hand to shake at the thought. What was this new emotion, and why must they always come at the wrong times? No... Why must _Dib _force these new feelings out of him?!

"Z- Zim?" Dib whispered, hot breath softly hitting Zim's bare arm. Zim straightened up, removing his hand like he had been bitten and replacing his glove. Then he abruptly bent back down (he didn't have to go far) to be eye level with the human again.

"You lie to Zim, you're colder than rain."

"I don't _feel _cold, though, to myself," Dib insisted.

Zim fell silent for a moment. "Tell me how the disease will be gone," he whispered, staring uncomfortably intensely into Dib's eyes again. Waiting for a change in expression.

"I- it just will..." Dib stammered. He was never a good liar.

"Dib-" Zim began to warn.

"Why do you even care?" There was a tremble now in Dib's voice. "Why does everybody suddenly act like they care when all they've ever done is... ignore me, or, or-" Dib began to cough harshly, having turned his head just in time so he wouldn't spew any spit at the other. 

Zim sat back once more, lips pursed as he watched Dib. "Sleep, Dib-pig. I will have the window done by the time you wake, as long as there are no interruptions." He turned his back to the human, seething with his feelings of frustration that he knew all too well. He began to pick up the tools he had left behind last time, starting his tinkering once more. A few minutes later he turned his head to Dib, who was passed out from sleep.

Dib was definitely not a graceful sleeper like in commercials or TV shows where they all looked peaceful and 'precious'. His mouth was wide open as he snored almost painfully, drool hanging on the edge of his bottom lip, luckily never dripping out fully. His legs were sprawled out from under the covers and one hand had fallen over the mattress while the other was tucked under his giant head, hair matted with sweat and sticking to anything it touched. His eyebrows were furrowed, like he could still feel pain even in his dreams.

Frankly, Zim preferred it this way; so he could hear if Dib stopped breathing, he reasoned to himself as he turned back around to resume his work. 

Within the hour and a half, the pieces of wall and window were officially back together and fit securely in its original place. Just as Zim finished, he could hear a soft moan come from Dib, and snapped his head around to look at the raven-haired boy.

Dib shifted around and groaned again, eyes opening slowly. He lifted his upper body slightly as he rested himself on his elbows and Zim nearly cringed to hear several bones crack unpleasantly within the neck and back area. He cracked his bones as well, but something about this sounded so, so, _fragile _and _sick_.

Dib scratched the back of his head, not appearing to be affected by the bones popping, and stared at Zim blankly for a few moments. "Oh, you fixed it?"

Zim nodded proudly. "I just reinstalled it to your house when you began stirring."

"Reinstalled..." Dib muttered, always usually flabberghasted at Zim's choice of wording. Zim ignored him.

"Does this fit your needs, hyuman?"

"Yeah, I mean, it looks like it's brand new which is great, so." Dib shrugged and gave a soft smile. "Thanks."

Zim felt his chest swell at the praise. "Hmm yes, Zim is really great at things, isn't he?" Zim said smugly, causing Dib to roll his eyes, though again it didn't seem with any actual toxicity.

"Alright Spaceboy, alright," Dib mumbled as he sat up slowly, and all the color drained from his face quickly. Zim tensed as Dib held onto his stomach, body swaying for a moment while a light green began to overtake the red from his cheeks.

"Dib?" Zim's body seemed to move without his permission, grabbing Dib by the shoulders to steady him. 

Dib took a deep breath and leaned into the hold, much to Zim's shock, yet still not moving until it seemed the human was starting to get his bearings back, even when his body was screaming for personal space.

Eventually, Dib pulled away himself, some color other than green returning to his face. "Th- thanks, sorry... Got dizzy for a sec."

Zim stared once more at his weakening ex-nemesis, and the words blurted out of his mouth before he could even think to stop himself. "Let me run some tests." Dib blinked and then flinched away automatically, causing Zim to sigh impatiently. "Nothing like experiments. I just want to know what's wrong with you. I'm very interested, and perhaps I could... help your dad make the cure."

Dib squeezed his lips into a thin line as he looked down at the floor. "Well... You can't. My dad won't accept any help."

"But I haven't even asked yet-"

"He turned down several other well-known scientists for their cooperation," Dib explained, his voice full of bitter venom, and Zim subconsciously seemed to notice that there was more anger and resentment for Dib's own father in his voice than even for Zim, his literal nemesis- or ex-nemesis. "He's not gonna care what you have to say, unfortunately."

Zim cocked his head to the side. "I don't understand, isn't it best to work with a team?"

"My dad hasn't worked with any team in years," Dib mumbled. "He wants to invent and make things himself. He's even fired some of his assistants."

"That's selfish for a hyuman, is it not? I would do the same but I'm no filthy Earth beast."

"Very selfish," Dib agreed. "And he wonders why I don't trust him about making a cure... I haven't like, told him because uh... I wasn't supposed to _know _he rejected help? I just kinda listened in to some phone calls... But either way, I think he's doing it more for himself and the recognition he'll get, than me." Seeing Zim looking ready to disagree, because he had seen and felt the concern that the scientist radiated, he quickly added, "I know my dad loves me and probably really is worried about my health, but it's not enough to get him to share any ownership of a cure he might make. He wants to do it all by himself, which might cost him a... big mistake one of these days. He thinks he's great enough to do it all by himself, and he can't."

Zim was silent, his brain still continuing to swirl with many thoughts at once. "Then forget your dad."

"Wh- what?"

"Let me run tests and see what's wrong with you, and perhaps my superior Irken technology can save you from a few months of pain," Zim claimed boldly, beating his chest with his fist.

"Why would you do that, though?" Dib's question was not accusing, or full of distrust. It was soft and unsure, almost vulnerable. "Why go through the trouble of any of this?"

Zim turned his head to avoid eye contact. What was he to say? He didn't even know the answer himself; or rather he did, but he was in denial about it and therefore had buried it deep within himself. "If you'd like to receive help, come to my house as soon as you can. Tomorrow, the day after, whenever. If you want to keep suffering, that's fine too. I don't really care either way." He eventually began to gather his tools back into his PAK as he spoke, before turning back to Dib, still avoiding his eyes. "I'll see you soon, perhaps?"

Dib chewed his bottom lip softly as he cautiously stared at the alien. "Yeah... maybe. See ya, Zim."

Zim nodded curtly and began walking down the stairs and out the door quickly before anything else could be said.

Dib was getting worse, that much he could tell; he wasn't a moron like the human expected him to be. Something bigger was happening. And as his inner subconscious reasoned with him silently, he couldn't afford to lose his last piece of sanity now to a sickness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I'm grateful for any and all comments, kudos, reads, etc etc.  
I may or may not start updating this more slowly because I'm interested to make more fics, either with Invader Zim or South Park. Also in general I don't want to overwhelm myself with this one (not that I feel like I'm being pressured, I just get carried away sometimes haha)  
At the very least, updates will be once to twice a week.  
ALSO, I tried to describe those thoughts of Zim's as best as I could, though I'm not sure how many people experience it. When you know you feel something or you know the truth about something deep inside yourself but as long as you refuse to acknowledge it, it's kinda just on the backburner so it's not in your way and you can still remain 'confused' and ignorant about a situation that you really know all about. But they're still there, bugging you in a way no matter how hard you repress them? Hopefully that's helpful to anyone who's never had those kinda thoughts and might've been lost?  
Thank you for reading<3


	6. Pools of Honey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib agrees to become a human experiment, Zim seems to have a thing for sugary goodness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the reason this is shorter than normal and that it took a while, was because my laptop broke on me, yay! (Sarcasm.) So I had to finish this chapter with my phone, and I'm not as motivated to write on mobile devices as I am with computers/laptops.  
As for when I update next, it should be soon and it'll hopefully be longer, but I'm not sure completely since I won't be getting my laptop fixed and might not be able to get a new one til much later. But we'll see. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy the chapter regardless.

Dib's head was still reeling with thoughts even two days after his last 'hangout' with Zim. Mostly with the flowers though. He didn't want his dad to see them and make comments, and especially didn't want Gaz to see them because she was merciless. She wasn't stupid and probably knew her brother and Zim were on speaking terms again after their previous talk, so at least he wouldn't be chided too much; the teasing though, oh god the teasing.

So, he had placed the vibrantly dark, proud standing bouquet on his dresser instead of letting it sit in the kitchen, staring at them in near amazement while his mind raced. Why would Zim give him flowers? Why would Zim apologize for something? Granted, he _had_ been pretty insensitive about the issue and probably didn't expect Dib's response- he didn't even expect his own response- but he'd done so much worse before then, physically and emotionally. Why did it matter _now_ on whether Dib was offended or not?

Also, the idea of being tested on by his ex-nemesis was terrifying to the human. Even if Zim was genuinely curious and maybe 'concerned' for whatever reason, he knew how the Irken lost control sometimes and got carried away with his own experiments. He had nearly blown himself up countless times, let alone the number of times his experiments spontaneously combusted or melted into a pile of useless goo on the floor. 

That was why Dib hadn't left the house in two days. Not that it mattered if he wanted to, because his dad had expressed distaste for Dib leaving whatsoever and therefore had the house monitored by little inventions of his that would sedate him once he opened the front or back door.

Either way, Dib had holed himself up in his room not because he had no choice, but because he was scared. He hadn't felt this fear in a long time when it came to Zim; he knew he matched with the other's skills nearly perfectly, so when they battled it was more of an adrenaline rush and an evaluation with their performance, to see if either of them managed to surpass the other. There was no fear, just determination and somewhat excitement; sometimes annoyance. 

Now though, Zim was asking for Dib's cooperation in actually being tested on, which terrified him. What if it was all a plot to destroy him? What if Zim only made the situation worse? What if Dib was transformed into a useless sentient glob of unknown materials before exploding like fireworks?

Dib flinched at the thought, but he knew he didn't have much of a choice in the matter. He could mope around in his room for the next few months while he waited for his dad to figure it all out until he died a very painful death, or he could go to Zim and possibly be finished off very quickly if he ended up becoming a human bomb.

It was strange, thinking back to the very moment when Zim had offered his services to his once-enemy. There was a tightness in his jaw, eyes squinting, the shadow of bloody red coloring hiding behind fake contacts as he stared deeply into Dib's own eyes. His lips were puckered, lost in his own thoughts, many emotions passing over his face at a time that seemed to confuse both of them. Was he... concerned? 

Dib shook the thought away. He would probably find more answers if he went over there today. He stared at his freshly re-built window in wonder. Maybe he could try and climb out? No. His father's little angry, sedating minions were only around the actual doors and Dib and his dad both knew why. Dib was simply too weak to escape in such a dangerous manner, which hurt his pride in a way since he'd always been so strong and able-bodied before, whenever he was leaving to fight or something. 

Chewing on his lip thoughtfully until it was red and swollen, Dib hesitantly pulled out his cell phone and scrolled down to Zim's number. He didn't know if Zim had his own number, he had only gotten this contact from Gaz by insisting it would be a great way to contact him one day to set up a fight. Or something stupid of the sort.

Dib clicked the call button and placed it against his ear, hoping Zim wouldn't ignore it in case he didn't know the number- or even worse, because he knew _exactly_ who was calling him.

After about five rings, Zim picked up. _"Hello?"_

Dib nearly gave an audible sigh of relief. "Hey Zim, it's Dib."

_"Ah, so the filthy Earth monkey finally decided to stop ignoring the Zim?"_ The alien's voice almost sounded like he was pouting and Dib couldn't stop the smile from invading his face.

"I wasn't, I couldn't come over," Dib said half-truthfully. He wasn't going to add that he was also debating the entire time on what to do and if he should simply drop off the face of the Earth. "Listen, my dad made it so that I can't leave the house unless I climb out a window."

_"Soooo, climb out a window?"_ Zim snorted.

"I can't," Dib replied. "Normally I could, but I'm still, uh, sick, and my body can't really... do that anymore." He pursed his lips. He could practically sense Zim's impatience on the other end of the call, wanting him to get to the point. "I need you to pick me up."

Zim huffed. _"And how do you expect me to do that? You're much heavier than you were as a kid, and well, I could probably do it, how would that solve anything-"_

"No, no," Dib said quickly, cutting off the irritated Irken. "I meant to pick me up via vehicle. Not actually lift me and carry me."

_"Oh." _There was a pause. _"I suppose I can cloak my Voot Runner to look like a normal, primitive Earthling transportation machine and then 'drive' over to you."_

Dib rubbed his face from underneath his glasses. "Sure, yeah, sounds great. Whenever you're ready, come get me."

_"I shall receive you within the next hour or two, maybe even three, I'm a very, very busy superior being after all,"_ Zim claimed boldly, and Dib rolled his eyes.

"Alright, see ya." He hung up and tossed his phone on the bed, then planted his face into a pillow. He was already beginning to regret everything.

Not even ten minutes later, Dib heard a sharp knock on his window, so quick that he almost thought it was his mind playing tricks on him. He lifted his head and saw Zim awkwardly clinging to the wall with his PAK legs, tiny fist against the glass. Dib raised an eyebrow and got up, walking to the window and yanking it open. "Zim?"

"Yes, it is I! Here to save you from the wretched stink-cave you call a room!" Zim announced, and as Dib looked down from where Zim was, he could see a small Prius in purple and red that he could only assume was the camouflaged Voot Runner. Dib snorted. Zim could find a way to hide his spaceship with holographic type technology, but couldn't be bothered to even make a new wig that looked more realistic?

"I thought you had shit to do?"

"Eh? Oh right, right right," Zim stammered, suddenly looking flustered as Dib looked back at him in suspicion. "It didn't take as long as expected. Hurry now, Dib-thing, before I change my mind!"

"Hold on." Dib walked to the dresser, eyeing the bottle of pain pills before cautiously placing them in his pocket. They did seem to help and didn't really have any side effects. 

"You... you still have the flowers?" Zim stuttered, causing Dib to turn back around once more and study the other.

"Uh, yeah? I told you I liked them," Dib informed the creature. "Anyway, how do you expect me to get into the Voot Runner when it's on the ground? That was the whole problem in the first place, I can't just jump down." He walked forward while he spoke, and when he was close enough Zim was able to slap a hand over the other's mouth, irritation forming in his face.

"Enough babbling, you talk too much," Zim grumbled, and with one swift motion, had pulled Dib against him and over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, jumping down lightly with his spider-like legs. It was weird to say the least, considering how small Zim was and how tall Dib was, but feeling the fluid muscles flex under Zim's skin, Dib couldn't pretend it was that surprising.

The wind blew against Dib's face painfully as they sped to the ground, so he buried his face in Zim's shoulderblade awkwardly to keep the stinging away. He barely noticed the small Irken tense from the motion; his senses were cloudy and his nose filled with a strangely sweet smell that was very distracting.

Suddenly Dib was tossed none-too gracefully into the Voot Runner, wincing as his back smacked into the side. Zim was muttering something in Irken that the human couldn't quite catch, climbing in as well. The ride to Zim's base was awkwardly silent, to say the least... for the most part.

~~

For some reason, a warm feeling had fallen over Zim when he realized that the Earth-worm still had the bouquet he had given him, which made things all the more strange and tense for him. After much prodding as to why his computer suddenly found it funny that Zim had gone through with buying Dib a bunch of flowers (and then tweaking their very DNA so that they would last longer), the computer admitted that most humans gave flowers as an apology if they happened to be a crush.

Needless to say, Zim was not on speaking terms with his computer. How dare it pull such a cruel prank on him?! He most definitely did not have a 'crush' on the Dib-filth! 

Yet seeing Dib accept his gift with such gratefulness...

Zim shook the thoughts away. Instead, he started focusing on the road in front of him with gritted teeth. Unfortunately, his disguise for the Voot would not matter if he was actually flying it through the air (because flying cars were not a thing), so he had to keep as low to the ground as possible without hitting the actual road underneath them, hoping no human was looking hard enough to see it slightly levitating. Luckily, he at least knew enough about the laws concerning driving, so that wouldn't be an issue.

He turned his eyes once or twice to Dib, realizing with a sharp feeling in his chest that the human's face was scrunched with pain from being tossed into the ship. Well, it wasn't Zim's fault! He hadn't expected Dib to start nuzzling his body, though he was sure it was because of the crispness of the wind on the weak, inferior kind's skin.

Regardless of the 'why', it didn't matter to him. He didn't appreciate the touching, that was all there was to it. Yet...

Zim groaned loudly and turned his head once more to Dib. "I a- a- apologize, alright? Now stop making that pitiful puppy dog face, it annoys me worse than when Gir does it."

Dib blinked, bewilderment settling on his features. "Uh, I wasn't trying to make a face, my bad. I don't even know how to pull a 'puppy-dog' face. My back just hurts now." His voice lowered to an almost shy murmur by the time he finished.

Zim sniffed and stared back at the road in front of him, then looked anxiously toward Dib again. "You whine about pain like a pitiful Smeet." His words were harsh, but his tone held more mild curiosity than malice. Maybe his cold chiding was to hide the fact that Zim was also well aware and had somewhat possible feelings, _similar_ to concern over how painfully light Dib felt in his arms, or how weak he seemed over mere wind. It was not normal.

"Sorry," Dib mumbled and Zim stared a second longer. A second too long. He felt the front of the Voot Runner smash head-on with a car. The impact sent the other car flying completely off the road, spinning in circles before landing on its side in a ditch nearby, the front of it caved in slightly. The human in the other car seemed dazed and wounded, but not dead.

As for the actual spaceship, the impact only caused a sharp jarring, Zim's body bouncing for a moment but at least not enough to cause whiplash. Dib, because he was more or less on the floor huddled in the corner since it was so small (and Zim didn't want to be touched as much as possible), was flung upward and then to the side, smacking his face as his big stupid cranium flew down onto his own knee, and then knocked his head against the interior.

Unfortunately, that was not the end. A car, which had already been speeding, rounded the corner much too fast and crashed against the back-end of the Voot, causing them to be jolted again. The ship itself barely moved, but the actual human car that had rammed them nearly flipped over from the impact. Zim could only imagine how strange it must be for the filth-pigs to see a small Earthling 'car' hardly take damage from the impact of other vehicles twice its size- as long as his hologram was still up and working, considering he'd never been hit before while using said technology. Otherwise, there'd be more than just mild confusion about the situation.

After clambering back into his seat, Zim sighed with relief to see that all things were still functional and no warning lights had begun to blink. He could hear the Voot Runner beginning to already fix itself and push out the very minor dents that were made, which satisfied Zim enough to decide it was okay to continue driving, ignoring the shouts and footsteps of humans who were irate with the accident that piled up on the road, and began to chase the Voot.

Zim couldn't help but cackle, feeling a rush of his old malice as he grinned wickedly. "Silly hyumans thinking they can catch me, Zim! Just wait until they try to follow me to my 'parking space'," His face lowered to a still-pleased, but now lax smirk, relaxing against his seat. "I might have a surprise for them, eh Dib-thi- _Dib_?!" The Irken's eyes had wandered to the lump on the floor, not particularly expecting to see much other than possible sniffling from being jostled around, and instead, was greeted with the sight of blood. He stiffened, flicked a switch for auto-pilot and then dropped to the floor, wincing at the cramped space.

"Dib?" Zim hissed, internally frustrated because it was as though every time they interacted, the stupid weak human was always being harmed in some way; usually, it was a normal thing that happened because of their fights but good Irk, he wasn't even _trying_ to hurt the boy at this point!

Dib was cradling his jaw and mouth with one hand and Zim could see the blood trickling from between his fingers. Thankfully, it really wasn't a lot of blood, it had just caught Zim's attention first and therefore naturally made him feel a little dramatic inside. The alien crawled toward Dib on his hands and knees, ignoring the bewildered look he was receiving and the mild kicking toward his face. "Stop, you insolent and pathetic pile of useless, trashy chromosomes!" Zim snarled, clambering over the other and grabbing his face roughly. "Let me see the damage you've done now to yourself!"

"'M f'n'," Dib mumbled through his teeth and hand, so Zim gripped with his claws to rip the appendage out of the way, seeing more blood spilling from between lips. He immediately pinned the hand to the ground and placed his knee on top, grabbing the other hand before it had a chance to also be a nuisance and stuffing it unceremoniously with its partner-in-crime, finally using his own to keep Dib in place with one on his chest while simultaneously prying apart the human's clamped teeth, watching more blood spill. His mouth was stained with red as he reluctantly parted his mouth, showing a decent bite mark on his pale pink tongue. "'S n't suh ba'," Dib tried to speak again, trying hard not to rub his wound against the rest of his orifice.

"Shut up, your unintelligible words hurt my head!" Zim ended up snapping, reaching into a compartment for a first-aid pack and pulling out several bottles and packages in a flurry. He picked up a small, clear tube with some type of purple gel in it; it almost looked like Earthling toothpaste, in a way. Normally it was used only for actual emergencies, so _of_ _course_ it seemed appropriate to waste it on a being that happened to have a body practically made of twigs and paper and to top it off, had the clumsiness of, well, Gir would be a good comparison.

Popping open the little tube and squeezing a dab on his finger, having left his one hand from Dib's rattling chest, Zim brought it up to the other's face who flinched automatically. "Oh yes Dib-beast, it's going to taste terrible," Zim growled, "but I don't need you bleeding all over my Voot. Open." Dib hesitated a second too long and Zim's other hand had pried open his jaw again forcefully. He shoved his finger into the mouth, swiping the sticky medicine everywhere he could, since his 'companion' wanted to misbehave. The gel immediately began to bind to the skin, stopping any blood from leaking further, while Dib audibly gagged.

"You should know better than to ignore my requests," Zim grumbled in irritation, staring as the last of Dib's blood trickled down his chin. It was so glossy, so deep in color; human blood was always fascinating to him, yet something about it was... off.

A finger caught the dribble before it fell, barely aware that it was his own, not even noticing he had leaned so close until his forehead was nearly brushing against Dib's as he studied the droplet in fascination.

Zim had never been this close to study the other's blood before, and his hazed mind took note of the fact that the sample was off because it was much thicker, and hardening. Did human blood harden? Not this way, at least he didn't think. His wig slid down his face when his antennae began to stand erect with blossoming alarm from the discovery, the closeness, the smell.

A small noise from the back of Dib's throat startled Zim out of his thoughts as he yanked his head up. Eyes stared into his own, and Zim realized with a start, the details of the human's endless pools that flickered between honey in the light, or otherwise smoldering dark chocolate, always with golden flecks toward the very middle. The pupils were blown up heavily, something that always happened with Dib's eyes for unknown reasons, but this time they very nearly covered the entire eye, swallowing Zim whole like a never-ending abyss as they continued to watch intensely.

"Uh, Zim?" Dib managed to say, snapping the Irken out of it. Why on Irk was he even looking at his muddy, dookie, dull... Soft... Sweet... Caramel colored...

No, _ugly_ eyes, why was he looking at the human's _disgusting_ brown eyes, anyway? There was nothing special to them. Zim swallowed and pulled away, realizing that his ship had found its way home and was already parked within the base.

What was wrong with him, that he hadn't even noticed? And what were these feelings inside of him? All it did was anger him and frustrate him, to have his body react so strangely to something so silly. Zim had looked inside of those eyes plenty of times before, during their fights, when Zim had _apologized_ beforehand, when he had _touched_ the human and made the conclusion to help the pathetic dirt monkey (for what reason, he did not know, or at least pretended not to).

So why did it make his 'spooch hurt and his chest heave now? Why did his hands feel cold and clammy and his breath hitch when those _basic_ human-colored eyes looked at him widely, and somehow reminded him of every sweet treat he'd grown accustomed to gorging on, from this trash ball they called a _planet_?

For some reason, his mind wandered back to the flowers on Dib's dresser, the sincere happiness when receiving his gift, and the look that nearly drowned Zim that he could only place as gratitude, all making his chest throb even more. 

Zim's eyes, which had stopped focusing on the world around him, seemed to clear once more as they settled on Dib, who looked somewhat uncomfortable now.

Forcing a smirk onto his face, Zim looked down at the stunned human, still avoiding those smothering pools of sweet sugar (for he would have to worry about his reaction to that another time) and lifted his arms. "Welcome to my 'humble abode', Dib-creature."

~~

Dib's tongue was already grotesquely scabbing over from the wound, but at least it was healing decently and quickly. It was still tricky for the human to speak without hurting himself, but he managed.

They ended up in Zim's secret labs, where Dib was surprised to see not as much equipment as he'd remembered, the few times he had managed to sneak into the underground area before. Zim's disguise was stripped almost immediately after clambering out of the cramped spaceship and tucked into his PAK, and now his antennae were standing almost completely straight, wide eyes flickering across the room in spasms like he didn't know where he was or what was happening- or maybe he was just trying to find anything else to stare at other than the human.

Dib had to admit, he felt exactly how Zim looked. Worried, confused, but with an air of arrogance that kept them both from admitting to their emotions. For Dib, he was more puzzled than concerned, whereas it looked to be the opposite for the Irken.

The way Zim seemed to have nearly melted into Dib like a puddle after staring at the other, leaning close to him like he needed the support or else he would crumble on shaking legs, made Dib's hair stand on end and his throat dry. It was just so... weird. Not just the reaction either, but the fact that he'd stared at all, and for so long, that _caused_ the Irken to react strangely.

He had no idea how to feel about it or if he should say anything... No, of course he shouldn't say anything, but at the same time, he was so lost and needed answers as far as the 'why'. Not to mention, his own conflicting feelings about being stared at with such intensity that it nearly took his breath away (which wasn't hard to do since it was already difficult for him to breathe, but still), might be put to rest if he knew what was going through the other's head.

Wait, why _did_ Dib even have conflicting feelings? He should be suspicious, annoyed, angry maybe, but... What even _was_ he feeling? Anxious, bewildered obviously, with an unknown heat spreading through his face and chest, clutching at his heart and squeezing tightly. He found his eyes twitching, searching for the other's-

Zim's hand abruptly came up and beckoned curtly for Dib to follow, then led the human through a long, dark metallic hallway that branched off into different rooms, possibly holding all types of experiments within them. Dib walked slowly, and could feel his throat trying to close from paranoia, so he cleared it as quietly as possible. 

Zim's antennae twitched, an annoyed look falling over his face. "Stop your pathetic noises. If Zim wanted you dead, you _would_ be." 

Dib couldn't help the snort that came from his nose, which caused Zim to whip around dramatically, his ruby eyes filled with many unspoken accusations. "You dare not believe me?" Dib shrugged, a feeling of meekness falling over him, though a part of him wanted to point out that there were many times in their life that the alien actually wanted Dib dead and simply couldn't because of his incompetence.

Zim didn't seem satisfied with the lack of answer, and his lower lip jutted out in an angry pout that actually made Dib snicker, followed by a yelp of pain when his foot, though covered by a shoe, was painfully stomped on. The raven-haired boy grumbled under his breath as he bent to rub his sore toe.

"Hmph." Zim turned back around, boldly strolling with confidence that Dib knew all-too-well to be a facade to hide any 'weak' feelings he might be having. The boy didn't comment on it though, simply trailing behind, his still slightly sore foot throbbing as he tried to keep up with the other's pair of short but quick legs, that walked with a purpose. Only the sound of their occasional shuffling down the hall, or Dib's shaky breaths could be heard between the two; the latter seemed to irritate Zim, but didn't say anything more until he had abruptly stopped at one of the doors, the Irk symbol in the middle standing out brightly against the dark color scheme. 

Dib's anxiety blew up once more as he eyed the Irken with distrust. Why was he even here? Why had he even _considered_ the thought of coming over, with the acknowledgement that Zim was probably going to do unspeakable, alien things to his body, and most likely _not_ in a kind and caring manner? He was an idiot. 

Then, Zim's head swiveled around to stare intensely at Dib, causing his breath to freeze in his lungs while his face heated up. "What?" He ended up snapping, turning his head slightly to avoid eye contact again. "Let's get this over with."

Zim's antennae twitched in amusement as a small smirk rose from his face, which was not lost on Dib, despite the fact that he wasn't looking directly at the other. He could just practically _sense_ the smugness. "As superior as you may think my equipment is, it's not going to be a quick five minute thing, Dib-creature. So," he paused to tap Dib's chest, "If you can't learn to sit still, behave, and _not_ breathe like you've never had air in your body before, then this will only take even longer for us both."

Dib flinched and instinctively backed up at the touch and feel of Zim's claw against his body, but his mind was shrouded by other worries. "How long is it going to take?"

"Depends on how well you cooperate and how 'new' this disease really is." Zim turned his back to the other and easily pushed the door open. It swung neatly and silently to show off a room that, when Zim flicked on the light, was bright, white, and spotless. Chairs and operating tables were scattered here and there in symmetrical order, unknown alien tech with prods and sharp ends waiting nearby to be touched, and a dozen or so computer screens in a row sitting on the counter in the very back, with glass tubes and (though Dib hated to admit it) superior microscopes next to them, to analyze whatever Zim's experiment consisted of that day- which this time, would be Dib.

He then realized with horror, the very _long_ needles, something that looked like a metallic hand with pointed ends, and suction cup type bottles sitting on one of the carts, placed next to the table nearest to them. 

Oh, this was going to be _awful_. 


	7. Hold Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib talks to Gaz, and things get worse with his pain

Zim was defective, and probably had secretly known his entire life. He once made it a goal of his to pretend otherwise, to accuse everyone else of being stupid and inept; to prove to his people that he could be what they wanted him to be- a functional Invader- if _they_ changed _their_ ways and gave him a chance to do things how _he_ wanted to do them. Everyone else was below him, and defective.

Whether or not it was because he had actual good intentions to please his Tallests or because he had an issue with his own self-image, it did not matter. It only meant defiance, treason, and defectiveness to them all. His emotional outbursts of rage and offense did not ever help his case either, especially with being... small. The Smallers were not known for having literally any narcissistic and over-inflated egotistical qualities. They simply existed to be of service to others, knowing that, despite being part of a superior race and were better than any other alien kind in the multiple universes surrounding them, they themselves were small and insignificant to the majority of their own. And they were okay with that.

Not Zim though, never Zim. With the knowledge that since his birth, he was looked down upon for being _different_, plus the fact that he was meant to never be anything special because his short stature had been long ago programmed into his PAK, made him a reckless tornado of merciless destruction in any effort to be seen and heard as _good_\- no, the best! Unfortunately, it had always made things worse for him.

So, being noticed now with any sort of positive emotion such as gratitude _must_ have been why Zim had reacted the way he did when looking at Dib-thing. Of course, the human had mixed emotions on his face at the time, particularly pain from the wound and disgust from the superior Irken medicine, but the wide-eyed stare of gross gentleness was there nonetheless. It had been there when receiving flowers, and when Zim had checked the dirt monkey's face of sickened discomfort, even when fixing the mess he _himself_ had caused with Dib's stupid house.

It was a look hidden behind furrowed eyebrows and a tight lipped grimace, a crinkled nose with a squint full of distrust, but it was still there, deep within the core of Dib's being. He was always grateful for help, though he'd never admit to it. Because just like Zim, he was not used to being shown kindness in any capacity, and practically reveled in it.

And just like Dib, Zim craved for _more_ validation, to feel that he did something right for once. He craved for the look of approval and a genuine smile that told the Irken that he was not a failure. His people on Irk could laugh at him all they wanted, and reminisce about the times he nearly blew himself up, or gossip about his inability to be a mindless machine. Because he had his own support system, in the form of doing stupidly simple, yet effective deeds for a barely functional pile of flesh and awkward limbs.

"Ow!" Dib's sharp voice stung one of Zim's antennae when the alien had accidentally pressed a needle too hard into the skin, causing them both to jerk back with a scowl.

As always, it was not so easy to acknowledge and accept such thoughts- but they were beginning to surface more and become clearer than just muddled ramblings, which was progress, right? At the very least, Zim could admit to himself silently, Dib's positive emotions were getting to him, causing him to fall into such a stupor like earlier.

"Stop squirming, stupid Earth-monkey!" Zim hissed his reply as his clawed fingers wrapped securely around the other's twitching wrist.

"Get a shorter needle, you're going to split my vein in half!" Dib snapped, breaths coming out shakily and hot, hitting the side of Zim's face, which only made him more irate.

Zim sniffed in annoyance. "I don't _have_ a shorter needle. Unlike your useless fleshy, pathetic host of a body, we Irkens have thicker skin that _protects_ our vitals, which means longer needles for extraction."

"That's bullshit Zim, Irkens don't even use- oooh," Dib interrupted himself with a groan, causing Zim to hold his head high in victory for causing the Dib-thing to shut up, until he saw the paleness sweep over the other's face, and his eyes shut tightly while he tried to compose himself. Zim sighed loudly, not even able to bask and enjoy his win when it looked like the lousy human was going to purge.

"Stop the whining," Zim mumbled, carefully extracting the blood, watching the bottle attached to the needle fill with the dark red fluid in fascination. He then pulled it out quickly but carefully, if anything so as not to listen to anymore obnoxious whimpers. A bead of blood dripped down and Dib hissed quietly, so Zim rubbed his wrist to rid some of the pain. Again, so as not to hear any crying.

Dib's eyes slowly fluttered and closed, the tense expression fading into relief now that the needle was out of his skin. If Zim remembered correctly, he knew a lot of humans had an unnecessary fear toward these _almost_ _primitive_ stabby-things, but wasn't sure if Dib had it or not. Either way he was definitely not pleased with being stuck, and for some reason Zim didn't have the heart to tell Dib that the reason it was so long was to actually torture the human more, if Zim had ever managed to catch him for experimentation.

Something pinched his insides at the sight of Dib once more being in discomfort, and he let out a low sigh of frustration. He was _not_ going to start apologizing all the time to the enemy, whom he was supposed to be _betraying_ anyway, according to the half-assed plan he'd created a few days ago (he thought anyway; Earth time was weird). Nope, wasn't going to happen...

"Sorry," Zim mumbled, internally kicking himself for giving into his icky feelings of _guilt_.

Dib blinked open his eyes as that same infuriating look of confusion settled on his features, followed by that annoyingly soft expression that made Zim feel weak with unknown emotion. "It's fine, I'll live." He suddenly cracked a dry grin, like he had his own secret joke, which only made Zim frown when he didn't sense any actual humor emanating from the other's body. Strange creature.

"Yes, well," Zim looked away, throat dry as he squeezed the glass tube of blood tightly. "I'll also need some of your useless, flaky skin cells, and if you'd give me a list of your symptoms, I can deduce from there any reason for your body's malfunctions and therefore try to reverse said issues."

Dib tilted his head. "Do you think that'll work?" There was a hint of absolute desperation in the human's voice that made Zim turn his head to look at the other carefully. He looked pitiful, sitting on the operation table. A light layer of sweat doused his body, his skin white like paper and his veins a dark blue or purple that stood out from every inch of his body. His eyes were unfocused by the ever-increasing amount of pain that clutched at him, and his breathing was as always, short and jumpy.

Truthfully, Zim did not know if it could work. Sure, he might be able to listen to the symptoms and make educated guesses as to why his body might be doing those specific things; for example, if Dib had a bad cough and breathing problems, Zim could guess his lungs were failing or self-destructing and go from there. Yet that's all it was- just educated guessing, much like he did back in Skool. Though he was never wrong before in his education, still... this was slightly different. Plus, knowing what was wrong didn't guarantee that it could be corrected, or give a solution itself as to how it could be fixed.

"Of course it will, this is the Mighty Zim you're talking to!" Zim scoffed with a bellowing laugh while pushing any thoughts of self-doubt down, and Dib gave a small smile in reply. "Besides, I have a few months of trial and error!"

Dib's smile faltered, but Zim hardly noticed. "Yeah, Zim, about that..."

"I mean, it's not like you're going to die anyway, right? So if anything, you'll just suffer for a while and then be fine anyway if Zim for some reason '_fails'_." Zim chuckled at the absurdity of the word, along with the rest of what he implied.

If Dib _had_ been dying, Zim would sense it after all; plus that was one of the most important things to discuss, and something Dib would have mentioned from the beginning! Granted, in the back of his mind, the alien once assumed that the human's strange reluctance to discuss the sickness was because it happened to be terminal- not that Zim cared- but Dib didn't _die_. He wouldn't die by a superior Irken such as Zim, when all bones were crushed and skin was on fire, so there was no way an illness would take his enemy! He was too stubborn. No, the reason why his enemy was probably hesitant to speak on it was probably because he didn't trust Zim yet; rightfully so. 

As Zim continued his hearty guffaws, he didn't see the flinch on Dib's face, eyes turning shamefully to the side, or the quiet, unenthusiastic, "Haha, yeah..." that fell from the other's lips. Zim was just simply existing in his own delusional bliss to notice.

~~

Dib had royally fucked up, and he was just now beginning to realize this (well, maybe he already knew and was just beginning to _accept_ it), while laying on his bed a few hours after their testing. His plan was stupid, and he was stupid.

The whole point was to gain Zim's trust and _then_ ask for help by expressing that he was dying. He didn't take into consideration that he would be forced to _lie_ about dying when the subject came up way too soon for confirmation, which would then backfire on Dib when he eventually stated that he _would_ die soon, and that he had lied.

Dib sighed and smacked his head into his mattress in frustration. Why had he even lied in the first place? Granted, it would negate the whole purpose of being the Irken's friend if he said it too soon and Zim only did his victory laugh in reply for his falling rival because of the lack in companionship, but with this way, it was almost even _more_ guaranteed for Zim to reject him; maybe even kill him himself, once Dib admitted things to him. Even if Zim ended up having any feelings similar to attachment for the useless human, he did not appreciate being lied to, for any reason. Dib accidentally sealed his fate the second he made the decision to not tell Zim right away he was dying, so he could use the other for his technology.

Perhaps he could simply tell Zim he didn't know he was dying until later on, when it looked as though Zim was actually trustworthy... 

Dib inwardly groaned. He hated lying, he was never good at it. 

He also assumed (with reason) that Zim was only going to use the human for his own personal gain, which was why he offered the peaceful truce in the first place. Dib wasn't _that_ stupid, though he almost had been; he'd been nearly blinded by need and fear. So really, his entire idea to actually create trust between the two before using the hotheaded alien, was ridiculous. He was playing Zim's own game, in his own disgusting, alien-like ball court. Zim, the one who practically _invented_ this type of betrayal, would not be swayed, fooled, bamboozled, or otherwise, no matter how Dib would have sliced this bullshit plan of his.

It was surprising enough for Zim to not be too suspicious when Dib accepted Zim's offering of friendship, or to agree with being a test subject, knowing the Irken's past. Maybe Zim was just too preoccupied with worrying about his own treacherous plans, to care if Dib had his own. Or maybe Zim actually _did_ want to be friends and...

No, that was dumb.

_Well,_ Dib thought, _the only reason to lie was to get help, and Zim's already doing that supposedly, so... Either Zim's gonna kill me accidentally or purposely, I'll die before he can fix me, or he'll somehow cure me before my time is up. Which means I won't need to explain that I lied, or it won't matter._

So perhaps everything would be fine after all?

A knock on his bedroom door pulled Dib out of his thoughts but he said nothing, simply waited. Zim had easily pulled the Voot right to the window for Dib to climb through after popping it open, so he knew he shouldn't be in trouble since there was the lack of evidence that he even stepped foot outside, unless his father had come home earlier and saw that he was gone. Regardless, being bothered at this point set him on edge. The door opened moments later, so he shut his eyes quickly to pretend he was sleeping, and evened out his breathing. He had trained himself for years to avoid many conversations with his dad, after all.

After a few quiet footsteps, Dib was immediately beaten over the head with something soft, presumably a pillow. Okay, so it definitely was not his dad. He lifted his head to stare at his sister, who had an unimpressed look on her face.

Dib tensed, prepared to listen to something snarky about his fake sleeping or how childish he was for even trying, but instead Gaz sat down next to her older brother's head on the bed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Dad wanted me to tell you, you're going to a therapist between a few days and sometime next week."

Dib's throat seemed to close from those words. "Funny how he couldn't tell me himself-"

"He has work." Gaz's cold reply and stare made Dib go silent and shiver. It wasn't a secret that Gaz adored her father, as well as craved for the entire family to just get along. Though she didn't much blame Dib for his annoyance in their dad at first, things just happened to start worsening over time with their father's stubbornness and strange quirks, causing more tension between the two males that Gaz suddenly found 'unnecessary'- and that was _before_ Dib got sick.

Dib eventually looked away from his sister, a cold seeping into his chest. "I'm sure you think I need it, too. Right?"

"Yeah but not because of aliens." Gaz shrugged carelessly. "I know Dad wanted you to go mostly for that, but there's not much a doc can do about people who believe in the paranormal. And since Zim _is_ an alien, of course he's going to act like one, but you don't have to tell them shit about that. If they want to discuss Zim's issues and why he is the way he is, they need to contact him."

Dib looked up at his sister slowly. "So, why am I going then, or rather, why do you think I should go?"

"Two things." Gaz held up one finger. "One, you're dying. I mean, it's self-explanatory." Dib flinched involuntarily, and Gaz held up a second finger. "Two, your general obsession with Zim in the first place." Dib opened his mouth to argue, but she lifted a hand, similar to how Professor Membrane did so. "I'm not talking about him being an alien. You're obviously feeling some type of way that's going unresolved, which is why you snuck out with him earlier and why you kept his flowers, but you claim you still 'need' to avoid him like a plague, even though you've done the exact opposite." Dib raised an eyebrow questioningly with how she could be so informed, but she continued without skipping a beat.

"I know I suggested in the first place to ditch him but you were much too accepting yet reluctant, for me to believe you understood what I was actually trying to get at. Your head was obviously somewhere else." Gaz finally paused to take a breath. "I'm not sure if it's a deep, internal frustration with Zim for foiling your plans to get validation, or if it's because you have some other deep, hidden feeling that needs to be exposed. But I think either way, it's best to try and talk it out with a professional. Not to make some annoying speech about aliens, but ya know."

Gaz shrugged again. "Treat it like Zim is his own person with a personality, not an object that gets in the way. And that you're also a person, who needs to figure out why this other person can unravel you so much. I mean, he doesn't even come up with half-decent plans for world domination anymore for you to use that as an excuse for your _obsession_."

Dib cringed away from Gaz and her horrible words of truth. He knew there was something else to it like she said, he'd admitted it previously to himself so he couldn't very well deny it from the thoughts that plagued him. And Gaz knew when he was lying.

"So, just... bitch about him?"

"If you must, I really don't care how you do it. As long as you let them know of this ongoing feud without mentioning anything about aliens and maybe you'll figure shit out." Gaz rolled her eyes. "Since you don't work with simplicity well, maybe a complex explanation of feelings by a rando with a licence will help you realize." Dib gave her a blank stare, unsure of what she was fully implying, but all she did was give a careless wave and walk away, shutting the door behind her. He needed to remember to lock it more often, even if it upset his dad.

He didn't much care to be reminded that he had an odd, and slightly obsessed relationship with the Irken. It used to be about trying to use the alien for his own personal gain; to be recognized as the genius hero that he was. Now what was Zim to Dib? What was any of this to Dib? He could lie all day and say he was just using the other for a cure, but he already felt and was worried that Zim wouldn't actually help him. Not to mention that he'd known for a long time that Zim was as much of a threat as carrots were to lettuce; yet was always around him, humoring his ideas and plans. If he'd really wanted to, Dib probably would have gotten away with ditching the creature long ago.

Why did any of this matter now anyway, when he was dying? Why was he so hesitant to just admit he had a problem? He could sit there angrily for the rest of his small life span now, and silently admit to everything he was scared of acknowledging. No one was around to read his thoughts, he wouldn't be tortured into spilling the beans, there was nothing in his way to stop him. He wouldn't have to worry about living with the guilt and information for very long. Being mad and truthful was better than being mad and lying to himself. He should just let it all out and be free, and admit that he had a toxic codependence with Zim. That he couldn't be without Zim. That the stupid fucking alien gave him reason to live at some point and he couldn't let that go.

As he buried himself into his blankets, Dib was startled by a sharp buzzing coming from his bedside table. He eyed his phone carefully and with disdain, seeing it light up a few seconds later to signal a text had come through. He normally didn't get notifications on it, much less texts from other actual humans. The few times he did, was his sister asking for something because she was feeling lazy, or some unknown troll from skool who usually had nasty things to say. 

When Dib pulled the screen to his face and punched in the code, Zim's number (nicknamed as Spaceboy) was shown at the top, followed by the message. After clicking on it to actually open the texting app, he read it with a raised eyebrow.

**Spaceboy**: 

_I need more samples. [Sent at 8:42]_

Dib clicked his tongue thoughtfully as he stared down at his device, before typing out a hesitant answer. He was personally surprised that Zim was texting rather than just calling; the alien had difficulty enough as it was to hold the phone, let alone type. Plus, anyone who knew Zim for five minutes, knew he loved to hear himself talk.

**Dib**:

_[Sent at 8:43] Why?_

The human, of course, did not trust the situation and needed an explanation for this. A few minutes passed before he got his answer, a sign that indeed, Zim was struggling to type (or perhaps was just busy, but the former was more believable).

**Spaceboy**: 

_Your skin cells dissolved [Sent at 8:46]_

**Dib:**

_[Sent at 8:46] uh what?_

**Spaceboy**:

_IT [Sent at 8:48]_

_DISSOLVED [Sent at 8:49]_

Dib huffed at Zim's obvious irritation. The Irken probably caused an accident and was now going to lash out at Dib for _his_ mistakes. 

**Dib**:

_[Sent at 8:50] jfc alright well how did it do that?_

**Spaceboy:**

_What is jfc [Sent at 8:52]_

_Never mind I don't care. I don't know how to explain it but they just disappeared on their own [8:55]_

Dib was too annoyed with Zim to respond to the first text, but the second one had him puzzled. How could something just _disappear_ on their own?

**Dib**:

_[Sent at 8:55] maybe you just misplaced them?_

He knew he'd made a mistake once it was sent, when his phone vibrated after a lot faster than normal.

**Spaceboy**:

_HOW DARE YOU [Sent at 8:56]_

Dib couldn't help but give a soft snicker at Zim's offended reaction, but the humor fizzled out as fast as it came with the next text message.

**Spaceboy**:

_I watched it dissipate [Sent at 8:58_ _]_

Dib gave a soft sigh and sat up from where he'd been laying, choosing instead to lean against the wall by his bed and squeeze his pillow close to his chest. What the fuck was he supposed to do with that information now, worry about disintegrating? Dib thought back to the other bodies found with the disease that had been posted to Google, and shuddered. Their corpses did seem pretty shriveled...

A sharp pain in Dib's stomach caught him off guard and he gasped before gritting his teeth. It seemed like the pain was getting worse day after day. Dib began to stand and head to the dresser, before dropping back onto it in stunned silence. His pills weren't on his dresser, they were in Zim's Voot! They had fallen out as he was tossed around during the accident, but figured, after taking a pill and before stepping into Zim's base, that they would be safer just chilling in the ship. Then of course, stupidly left them in there after being dropped off.

_It's fine, it's just one day without them,_ Dib thought. _I've gone two whole months without anything except Tylenol (when I didn't even know what was happening). I'll be fine. _

Cold sweats began to run down his spine, his muscles in his right thigh cramping slightly, and he winced. He supposed it wouldn't hurt to ask Zim, would it? The bloody red eyed creature needed his skin cells anyway...

**Dib**:

_[Sent at 9:04] If you come over with my pills, you can get more samples_

**Spaceboy**:

_Wait, now? [Sent at 9:05]_

**Dib**:

_[Sent at 9:05] yes, you can just come in through the window. I left them in your spaceship_

Dib chewed on his lip until it started swelling, the tremors returning every so often, stronger each time. Just when he thought Zim wouldn't reply, he heard the buzzing notification go off.

**Spaceboy**:

_Ok. [Sent at 9:12]_

Dib gave a huge sigh of relief and felt himself grow less tense, if only for a moment, while he got up to open the window for the other before leaning back to where he was.

It was short lived though. He could feel a dull but growing pain starting from the back of his head to the front, focusing most of its throbbing pressure directly behind his eyes. Sweat began to bead and drip down the side of his face, while at the same time his shivering became more violent. It was progressing surprisingly quickly.

Dib's body seemed to suddenly lurch forward on its own, the thickness of his saliva nearly choking him as he tried several times to swallow. He began to gag without fully realizing it, and eventually vomited directly on the floor. Spit and bile went up his nose, his throat still forcing his stomach's contents out, so there was no way for him to breathe. His lungs screamed for air which made him force himself to gasp finally, before he fell into another retching fit. His head pounded, eyes pulsating with pain, and muscles aching as he finally slumped over fully, feeling his energy drain.

Saliva and puke hung off of Dib's lip but he didn't notice. His eyes were squeezed tightly closed and tried to will away the tremors and muscle cramping. How could it get so bad within just a few days? As if to answer, his stomach churned and he gagged again a few more times. He didn't even usually puke, why did it have to happen now?

Dib jerked in shock to feel an oddly familiar, gloved hand against his forehead. He looked up slowly through blurry eyes to see the green face he'd been waiting for, who was saying something that he couldn't hear over the sound of his own blood rushing through his ears. He spoke as well, though he wasn't sure what he'd even said, before letting in another sharp inhale while he retched one more time, his empty stomach only pushing more saliva and acids out of his mouth. He tasted something similar to copper on his fully healed tongue.

Everything was too hot, yet too cold. Dib gripped the sides of his shirt and very nearly ripped it over his head, discarding somewhere nearby. He was hazily aware of a hand gripping his arm to stop him from crawling anywhere, when he had shifted to his hands and knees. A low wail of pain escaped his lips at the feeling of his leg locking up in a charlie horse, that he himself couldn't hear, deciding to form into a tight ball.

Hands gripped his cheeks, a stern and naturally shrill voice demanded something he couldn't comprehend, while he writhed in agony. Until his head was pulled into someone's lap. The mild warmth against his face, and a blanket being pulled over his shoulders, seemed to ground him back to reality, at least a little. His face was a mess of different bodily fluids including tears, and every muscle in his body ached horribly. Something was pressed against his lips so he parted them, taking in a familiar bitter pill that he swallowed down immediately.

Dib was somewhat aware of three sharp fingers brushing back his hair, giving one small, weak whimper when one was pulled out, before those claws massaged the boy's head. He curled around the other's body even though it was tense from the contact, face planted against soft, silky leggings. Slowly, every muscle in his body began to loosen, the nausea fading ever so slightly and the tremors disappearing. Yet still, those fingers kneaded his head gently, the other rubbing in slow motions around his shoulder.

A sharp shudder rolled down Dib's body again, and the hand at his shoulder moved to the dip in his lower back that was twitching in small spasms. His choking breaths had calmed to soft sniffles, which turned into little sighs as the tension in his body melted.

And with his newfound relaxation, Dib somewhat processed, not what Zim had said but what he'd said:

_"Hold me."_

Two simple words caused the human's mind to become unhinged again, as his eyes, which had been closed, popped open. Was that really what had come out of his mouth?! It couldn't possibly be. Then again, his brain had felt like shutting down and he couldn't properly think. Maybe he said it without thinking because the pain was too much; maybe he wasn't fully aware of who he was speaking to. Maybe even, he remembered it wrong. 

Whatever the case, it ended up not mattering to him anyway. The hands slid over his back as arms curled around him, causing the shivering to cease almost immediately, and his exhausted brain finally gave up, letting him fall into unconsciousness. Unaware of the hard, cold stare he was being given by the emotionally confused and unstable Irken as he squeezed his dying rival close to him.

And when Dib woke the next morning with no memory of the night before and feeling healthier than he had been in a while, everything was somewhat alright with the world. For the moment.


End file.
